Ziwes Instagram Live Show
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Peteys vibes put me at ease immediately.
I know we are about to chill smoke and talk shit.
Its the Caribbean love.
He has, for lack of a better phrase, huge older Black cousin/young Black uncle energy.
Petey is absolutely the uncle Id casually venture to be by at the BBQ for the smokes.
Petey spoke about Black love being unconditional.
Yes, I have mad love for Blacks, but it is not unconditional.
You cant treat me whatever way you want.
My flavor of Black is fed up.
What do I love about us?
I love how gay we are.
Ive said this before, but truly the Blackest thing I did was come out.
The QBIPOC community is home.
What do I, Chris Murphy, qualitatively like about Black people?
Would I even deign to answer the question?
I started to sweat, but then I remembered, Im Black!
I believe that he would never call the cops on a Black person.
White people famously love calling the cops.
Its their third favorite pastime after baseball and doing cocaine.
I just dont buy it.
Jessica: Absolutely, context is key!
I dont believe the white people either.
They are always the first ones to say call the cops.
Petey says that he is a self-rehabilitated fuck boi.
You could never get me to take a THIRD unpaid job!
I did feel seen in that moment.
Again, Petey is a great example of a guest who is not trying to be perfect.
Not everyone is the best version of themselves all the time and he very much understands that.
He was a bird back in the day.
He can admit that.
Rather than change his behavior hes chosen to change his circumstances, and admirably so!
We are absolutely other-worldly, beautiful, magical aliens beings.
This very sentiment is what keeps yall feeling owed Black femme love/affection/attention.
We can not save you.
You must save yourself.
I dont love it.
Black woman are not here to nurture or save you.
Let them live their lives.
Honestly, I should save this all for the next interview butit is what it is.
Being single does not a non-monogamous make.
Youre committed to the people that you are seeing.
You must respect each relationship … as a relationship!
That being said, I love his vibes.
Theres still a pandemic and zero solutions for a safe way ahead.
Thats crazy Ronnie times to me!
Chris: I actually loved Crazy Ronnie Times.
But Ive been also been calling quarantine quarquar since day one.
But all my comedy stems from deep, unresolved trauma.
Jessica: Okay, the name five white people section.
Yooooooo when I tell you my old Southern ass SHOUTED in agreement when Petey said that!
Damn Im not even Christian and I felt that word.
Petey doesnt fuck with a lot of white people and I love that for him.
Shout outs to his white friends, though.
They must be cool as hell.
Jessica: I know so many white male comics.
If I was on the show I think Id just name past improv team members or open mic buddies.
Chris: Sadly, we have to add Petey to the ever-growing list of comics who dont read.
But happily, we can now start a subcategory of comics who dont read, but be listening.
Even though he doesnt read (and he should!
), I appreciated Peteys reverence for James Baldwin.
Has Petey readThe Fire Next Time?
But does he know its a bomb-ass, important book?
Also, slick move saying his favorite Black author was Ziwe.
Hes a smart cookie.
Jessica: I dont be reading but I be listening.
I almost forgive Petey for not reading.
But bruv, get an audiobook!
Chris: I hear Audible is great.
Peteys answers to the rapid-fire section were, in a word, iconic.
Mad props for knowing who Assata Shakur was via Tupac.
Education doesnt just come from schools sheeple!
Genuinely thrilled to hear Petey, the childhood burglar, got away with whatever he did.
The ancestors were looking down on him that day.
White, gay, and, if not tall, hes at least brunette.
In many ways, they represent the same community.
Different shades of the same color, if you will.
Jessica: As for tethers, Im team Josh.
I havent seen a guest this nervous.
Its interesting what nerves reveal.
Chris: Yeah, the nerves were on the surface for this one.
Were they genuine or for clout?
[Ziwe lean in.]
Jessica: Sebastians nerves revealed that he thinks our Race is supreme when it comes to comedy.
Okay, Ill give him that.
Black femmes do reign supreme.
But then he turned around and gave Nene Leakes as an example of superior Black comedy.
What in the Coca-Cola can?!
Out of all the Black femmes you could have named you pick a Nene Leakes?
Does she even go here?
Does she do stand up?
This a pattern with white gays.
You love us because Black femmes make you feel good.
You take, take, take and never return the same sense of nurturing back.
Both of which are fun in their own right (Im a huge fan of both, actually!)
but are not the basis of Black culture.
The internet isnt the basis of Back culture.
But also Im not surprised the stand up is meh.
Good stand up requires a level of vulnerability that Mrs. Leakes doesnt have.
Ziwe: Name five Black-owned businesses.
Sebastian:Can they be restaurants?
Me: Make it make sense.
This is quite possibly the easiest question in the interview.
Why is my chest so tight?
Shout out to Red Rooster!
I live right around the corner.
I am a Harlem girl.
Chris: Yeah, I didnt love Sebastians reasoning there, not gonna lie.
I mean, hes correct, but still that didnt sit right with me.
Red Rooster is dope, though.
Shout out to that fine establishment.
Jessica: The entertainment choices are also weak!
Tyler Perry?!?
I mean … he probably does draft his scripts from memes, but come on, girl.
Tyler Perry was recently quoted boasting about howhe is the only person in his writers room.
Where are the jobs you said he created?
Its very gate-keepy to me.
Dude, youve got the money and the acclaim.
Hire a goddamn writer.
Change a Black creatives life.
And while youre at it, hire a new wig person as well cuzthose things are busted.
This brings me to my larger issues with Sebastian, though.
It honestly reminds me of thememe-ification of Breonna Taylor.
It doesnt have to be an either/or situation.
Also, I cant with thisFear Factorenergy.
This is a comedy show.
This is an opportunity to laugh at yourself.
Be a little vulnerable, learn something new.
White people worry so much about being called racist that they overcorrect right into racism.
Sebastian is so nervous about being called a racist that hes interrupting Ziwe!
White people in the back: welcome to the conversation, calm down, be quiet, and listen.
Jessica: Speaking of bullying, Sebastian tweets, A group of Black girls is a Fashion Nova.
I want to take this person to court.Late Night With Judge Millycourt.
Chris: Look, weve all made bad jokes (heck, Im still making em!
), but accepting that is not really the point of what were doing here.
Acceptance is step one of dismantling systemic racism and oppression.
I love how Sebastian absolutely will not name his Black friends, except for his Black Bravo friend.
Does he get all his Black friends from Bravo too??
Chris: I love how Sebastian would not name his Black friends until Ziwe questioned their existence.
Then he was likeno, I swear theyre real here are their addresses and Social Security numbers.
I can tell you that I am not giving you that nurturing vibe.
Black women have been and are still enslaved to nurture all yall.
How yall dont see the irony of calling us nurturing or caring is beyond me.
We are people, who are not to be defined by how we make you feel.
But when Black women are in danger, whos there for them?
Its wasnt funny, bruv.
Wait, I have an idea.
White gays love astrology.
He should break down systematic racism according to signs.
Sebastian, youre welcome, I just boosted your content.
Chris: You should charge him for that.
Jessica: Thank you, I will.
While were at it, lets get into the Ashanti of it all.
^Thats a joke and you may use it as a template.
Chris: Structurally, that joke slaps.
You know writing these recaps force my little gay Black head out of my bubble.
Like, I didnt know that yall havent gotten the memo on Kayne.
Kayne is in timeout until he can prove to us that he know how to act right.
Jessica: Get out, indeed.
Shoutout to being a proud racist.
I couldnt have said it better.
