Save this article to read it later.
Find this story in your accountsSaved for Latersection.
And so, Imbackagainto put my tried-and-true human algorithm to the test.
Unlike these shady judges, who will try and trick us with purposefully off-base guesses (Adele!
), we all know better.
What kinds of celebrities will appear onThe Masked Singer?
Are they famous in their own fields, harboring dreams of singing stardom?
Older celebs hoping for a comeback or some recognition by younger fans?
Maybe someone with a little drama theyd like to outrun, or a brand-new album to sell?
These are all the things that could get you onTheMasked Singer.
Ill admit that as the show grows, I worry that big celebs might actually want to hop aboard.
Who is the Robot onThe Masked Singer?
Theres also the periodic table which zooms into the element of platinum (Get it?
Like someone who might have a platinum record?)
and a small skateboard crashing into a fire truck.
I think that makes me come off as inhuman and stunted my potential.
Theres also a scientist fiddling with a video-game remote.
Why its definitely Lil Wayne: Is this the most contemporary famous person weve ever seen onThe Masked Singer?
The judging panel seems to think so, completely losing their minds when hes revealed.
The answer being:If he has an album to promote, then yes, he would.
(Plus, Wayne famously lovesskateboarding,video games, and hasmany platinum albums.
Why it might not be Lil Wayne: It is.
I cant believe they let him go so early.Wayne!
Who is the Llama onThe Masked Singer?
Hes got a 70s vibe and sits behind the decks and microphone of what looks like a radio station.
Theres a purposefully placed Buddha and an LP that readsSounds of Seattle.
He even plays guitar and sings.
(I dont!)
Or, more recently,gigs with the late David Cassidy, his TV brother.
Why it might not be Danny Bonaduce: Oops, it wasnt!
Who is Miss Monster onThe Masked Singer?
When you become famous, people want you to look or act a certain way, she says.
They forget that you started off as a shy little monster.
), and while she goes on about the original Monster (a.k.a.
first-season winner T-Pain), we see a script text that reads Monster Hits.
Why its definitely Chaka Khan: Because anyone who has ever heard Chaka sing would know itimmediately.
Listen to her sing Through the Fire, and tell me that isnt her!
She even sounds amazing ina performance onJimmy Kimmelfrom just a year ago.
Why it might not be Chaka Khan: It is.
Who is the Elephant onThe Masked Singer?
Weve got Christians Art Supply, ANTIQUES, and ICE CREAM, 10 cents.
Could these just be generic stores?
Sure, but probably not.
White houses, eh?
Go risk it all for what you love, and what everyone else says irrelevant.
Why it might not be Tony Hawk:We know that it is, as he was sadly unmasked.
Who is the Mouse onThe Masked Singer?
Perhaps shes a bit older?
Her clue package takes place on a football field, and she has a bullhorn.
Ive always been a leader in my field, she says.
I wrote the playbook.
We see two football players with WARRIORS 19 and WARRIORS 79 across their backs (1979?).
I never accept anything less than gold, she says, as a guy waves golden pom-poms.
Later, shell describe herself as a chatterbox.
She sings Get Here by Oleta Adams, which is definitely a vintage choice.
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang,which was eventually covered as the title theme for 1965s Bond film,Thunderball.
Why it might not be Dionne Warwick:It is.
Who is the Taco onThe Masked Singer?
Thats a pretty solid lineup of clues.
He also sings like a crooner, choosing Frank Sinatras Fly Me to the Moon as his tune.
Why its definitely Tom Bergeron:The dusty pile of VHS tapes?
Tom hostedHollywood Squares(perhaps also referring to the Rubiks Cube?)
from 1998 to 2004 andAmericas Funniest Home Videosfrom 2001 to 2015 The anchor?
Bergeron started out as a news anchor in Boston.
(Soits a trolley, not a cable car!)
Why it might not be Tom Bergeron:It is.
Who is the White Tiger onThe Masked Singer?
(He dwarfs Nick Cannon in a way that platform shoes and prosthetics couldnt do alone.)
We get it, wrestling … or is this meant to throw us off?
One of the awards reads: Ultimate Championship for Clam Shucking: 51 clams … whatever that means.
My entire life, Ive sought out perfection, he says.
Why its definitely Rob Gronkowski: Surprise!
Its not a wrestler.
You know who else could have the body bang out of one though?
And this could only be one guy: Gronk.
(I wish I was joking about these clues!
Four score and seven years ago a.k.a.
20 x 4 + 7 = 87 a.k.a.
Who is the Turtle onThe Masked Singer?
Heres what we know about the Turtle: Well, first of all, hes a good-ass singer.
Hes got stage presence and a gorgeous run, so were not dealing with an amateur.
At the start of my career, I was surrounded by hungry newcomers, says the Turtle.
Im the turtle because Ive always taken it step-by-step.
Why it might not be Jesse McCartney: The burgers are unclear maybe the dude just loves to grill?
And step-by-step seems to be a reference to the 90s TV show, or maybe not.
The panel goes for boy-bander, which isnt wrong, but they are thinking of bigger boy bands.
Who is the Kangaroo onThe Masked Singer?
I recently lost a person who held my familys heart together.
Then, by my own admission, I found myself in the spotlight for all the wrong reasons.
She passes a sign that reads OUTBACK and jumps rope.
A tree holds a gramophone as in, a Grammy?
and she says that this year she had no other option than to be vulnerable.
Is this really an Australian person?
Are they trying to trick us?
Why its definitely Jordyn Woods: I have to admit, this might be the hardest one to date.
Theres evensome weak misdirect from Jordyn herselfon Twitter.Nice try!
Why it might not be Jordyn Woods: Could Jordyn Woods be a good singer?
I find it hard to believe this is the way shed choose to reveal it.
The Australian thing threw a lot of people who guessed Iggy Azalea, butheres her singing voice.
There were also guesses of Jordin Sparks and India.Arie.
Who is the Frog onThe Masked Singer?
News flash: My metamorphosis has been anything but typical, croaks the Frog.
(Actually, he says it, but you get it.)
I met stardom as fast as a lightning bolt.
Theres a shot of a flyer that reads 1996 (OLYMPIC?)
GAMES, 1,000 METER LEAP FROG.
Now I can write my own masterpiece.
Showing this new side gives me butterflies in my stomach, says the Frog.
The games were held in Atlanta that year, which happens to be where Moss is from.
Why it might not be Bow Wow:Maybe it is an athlete?
Jenny guesses Michael Johnson, while Ken guesses Carl Lewis (it is not Carl Lewis.)
Who is the Kitty onThe Masked Singer?
Heres what we know about the Kitty:Her costume is freaking me out!
The mix of cat and sexy spaghetti-strap dress … ahhhhhh.
The judges also notice that shes tiny.
(Shes the size of one of my thighs, says Jenny.)
I feel at home among the weird and the wonderful, the Kitty starts out.
A little bit of heaven, where I can wipe the slate clean as the purest snow.
Why its definitely Sarah Hyland:Okay, this one ishard.
The Drew Carey/Llama reveal threw me for a loop, and Im probably overthinking things at this point.
But this was a womanwho barely engaged inLittle Womenpress.
Do we really think shes signing on for this show?
I dont think so.
Not a huge difference, but Hyland is shorter.
Does our mystery singer have different colored eyes like her Kitty costume?
Other guesses: Rachel Lindsay, Mya, Lucy Hale, and Mena Suvari.
Nicole goes for Julianne Hough, and Ken suggests Nicole Richie.
Who is the Banana onThe Masked Singer?
Heres what we know about the Banana:Hes somewhat tall!
His clue package has him snoozing next to a cowboy hat and … pufferfish?
Youd think this was my first rodeo, he says.
Theres a blue collar on the ground (blue collar … His Elvis impression slightly masks his singing voice, but the clues are pretty clear.
But Darius Rucker has a very specific voice, and this isnt it.
And Nicole guessed Ed Helms because ofThe Hangover(?).
