Victoria
Save this article to read it later.
Find this story in your accountsSaved for Latersection.
After a thwarted assassination attempt by someone shouting, Freedom for Ireland!
Victoria decides to squire Albert off to that long-neglected country.
Ireland is very much a part of her kingdom and only about 300 miles away, i.e.
I cant take it.
But before all that, we get Manor House Shenanigans, i.e.
the best kind of shenanigans.
The latter revolves around Joseph the Footman and Neglected Duchess, i.e.
It was only a matter of time and that time is now.
A shirtless Joseph pops up from behind it.
I am way more into it than I thought I would be.
This is some excellent kissing chemistry.
Up with beach kissing, down with Albert and his disapproving mustache.
Everyone is staying at Lord Palmerstons house, where we finally meet Lady Emily Palmerston.
Before the visit is over, Emily Palmerston scandalizes Victoria with this information.
This is why no one likes you, Albert.
The Palmerstons home is the site of my favorite dining scene on the show yet.
Lady Portman is chatting with the heavily drinking Evil Duke and says, so you agree with Schopenhauer.
Remember when she cockblocked Palmerston and then later was like, this girl is off limits?
Lady Portman continues to hold the keys to my heart with her knowledge of grumpy German philosophers.
Grammar and Word Nerds, stand up, because this is your moment.
Palmerston says all of them.
These are the sorts of jokes one hopes to slip by the showrunner, but which are inevitably axed.
They prompted a WHO WROTE THIS EPISODE in my notes (the answer is Guy Andrews).
But as we cant dwell on delightful things all day, lets check in on Feodora.
She insinuates that childbirth has left Victoria with a cloudy brain.
Until then, Feodoras left in England to look after the royal children.
With her is Berties new tutor, a Mr. Cane, chosen by Albert.
Ha-ha, Mr. Cane laughs!
I dont hit people with a cane like my name might imply!
He heavily insinuates he will bribe her.
She does not refuse.
Albert is the Theoden slowly poisoned by the words of Wormtongue in thisVictoria/Lord of the Ringsmashup Ive just envisioned.
I cant wait until Gandalf shows up to end all this.
Albert is frustrated by the obviously staged crowd of cheering people they encounter in Ireland.
The potato famine literally just happened.
Ireland has never clapped eyes on Victoria before.
How are they cheering for her?
He rides into the local village and its abandoned.
On to Dublin, where Victoria gives an inspiring speech about helping Ireland return to its former greatness.
A dove is involved.
Albert is a wreck about this and says thank God they have no more children for him to damage.
Victoria pauses, because this is now awkward.
Yes, correct, its time for child number seven.
(Two to go!)
What if we cut Albert from episodes until he improves his attitude?
Lady Portman can help spin up the government in the meantime.
Will we hear of even more grumpy German philosophers as the season progresses?
Can pearls buy happiness?
Early evidence suggests that Feodora thinks yes.
