Veep
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Selina Meyer wanted to be President of the United States.
Selina Meyer did not want to be buried in a twat of my own making.
The nation giveth, the nation taketh away.
Were you all expecting to be emotionally wrecked by this series finale?
Because I was not prepared!
(Great to see you again, Sue!)
Furlong, who is running this show, tells Selina to offer Kemi the VP slot.
He is not the last person to do this.
Basically anyone who knows anything tells Selina she needs to team up with Kemi.
She could have saved Gary and herself.
But Selina refuses: In the words of the great Eleanor Roosevelt, I would rather cheese-grater my clit.
Muslim math strikes again!
Amys aesthetic is now fully Strip Mall Walk of Shame.
Welcome back, Tom James.
And in the midst of all of this, Ben has a heart attack.
I honestly think I might be in hell, Selina says.
Ben might need to go into a medically induced coma.
(Tom: Well, thats what he always wanted.)
Tom swings by the hospital to check in on Ben and humiliate Selina.
Selina is sobbing in Bens bed when he wakes up and tells her he cant do another campaign.
I feel like we saw whatever integrity Selina still had just evaporate in an instant.
(Gary: Jesus.)
I mean, you strike me as a smart woman.
Never say Selina Meyer never inspired anyone!
Because after this bit of, umm, feminism (?)
From there on in its just one sellout move after another.
She tells a Montana congressman that she is ready to frack the federal land in his state to pieces.
Jonah accepts just to get everyone to stop yelling at him.
Gary had said, almost to himself, Oh, Ill be there.
And… he was right.
We skip ahead six months.
(Theyre penciled in for half past go fuck yourself.)
Richard is off somewhere being the Secretary of Agriculture, without Dan, who was fired after the convention.
Selinas got Keith Quinn and Michelle with her in the Oval.
She calls out for Gary even though he is definitely never coming back.
Twenty-four years later (!
), Mike is the host of the CBS evening news and he is reporting on Selina Meyers funeral.
Good thing she put together that guest list!
We learn Selina served just one full term, while Kemi eventually served two.
Amy married Bill Ericcson, with whom she has a bunch of greyhounds.
Alsothat was Andrew, right?
He was there and extremely alive!
And then theres Gary.
What can you even SAY about Tony Hales delivery of Youd hate the flowers.
I brought the Dubonnet?
It totally gutted me.
Not just because I am writing this recap at 1 in the morning.
(Game of Thronescontinuing to do right by women everywhere.)
If you cant figure out how to steal South Carolina, you have no business being president.
Mike mocking Dan for wearing a Hugo Boss suit is such a good moment.
Also loved Mike saying to Richard, Lets talk turkey, and Richard replying, Wonderful pets.
Selina: I have been to Buffalo six times and Im not even a serial killer.
Ben asks Selina not to tell his family hes in the hospital.
Her reply: Yeah, Ive never met them.
The story about the Meyer fund is a distraction, Selina explains.
The way a magician does tricks to distract you from how depressing his life is.
Did you catch the North Carolina delegate saying they represented historically white Duke University?
Restore faith in democracy?
We couldnt do that even if we wanted to.
The Selina quote chiseled into the wall at the library: Someone needs to do something about this.
Dan finally quit politics!
But this time it really took.
Insult of the episodeThat coverage of Selinas funeral is interrupted by news of Tom Hanks death.
(Which isa reference to something Mike said in the very first episode of the series.
How could a Selina gaffe could be bumped out of the news cycle?
What if Tom Hanks dies?
Im not wishing that.
Im saying anything could happen.)
Jonah Shall Henceforth Be Known AsUgh, I guess I have to say it: Vice President Ryan.
