Vanderpump Rules
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Congratulations, boys and girlfriends.
We finally got there.
The best reality shows, this one included, are like a temple built over a tar pit.
I would like to do a close reading of this incredible moment.
Lisa approaches Jax and says, Is this how you really feel?
Yes, Jax says.
These are my lifelong friends.
So then work it out, Lisa tells him.
I thought I was going to grow old with Tom and Tom.
We were going to have kids and go to baseball together.
Well, maybe not, Lisa interjects.
My friendships are the ones that I need.
What if I lose them all tomorrow, Jax says.
He is the usual suspect in his own demise.
This is not just on a fucking television show, Lisa.
It also shows that, despite my protests, these are true relationships.
This clan is truly devoted to each other.
That is the problem with Jax in two words.
That is why Jax refuses to wear a SUR shirt during the group photo shoot.
Its not your show, its actually my show, Lisa immediately reacts.
And I put you on it, so dont fucking disrespect me.
It almost seems like it.
Jax tells Lisa that she doesnt understand, because Jax never thinks anyone understands.
It is always someone elses fault.
There is always another foe over the horizon.
Lisa tells him that she does understand.
Were all human beings.
Were all going to lose our parents.
Were all going to go through tragedy, because that is what life is about.
You have to deal with it.
You have a beautiful woman.
Youve got every chance in life.
Now pull it together, go talk to someone, and find out how lucky you are.
End of fucking story.
End of fucking story indeed.
After that reading, Jax should pack his bags and retire to the desert.
She says something along the lines of, How about you just take care of her.
Jax tells her it doesnt make any sense.
That is Jaxs problem.
He doesnt understand that the best way to do the right thing is to just do it.
He is the only obstacle in his way.
He always has an excuse, there is always some reason he cant behave as he should.
He has the resources, both emotionally and financially.
We all make these changes as we grow up.
Tom can no longer keep spinning on the same wheel of fighting and recriminations with Jax anymore.
None of them can.
Ariana has a great speech where she says, These arent mistakes.
These are pointed decisions.
This is a pattern.
This is a personality.
This is who this person is.
Now that they know who Jax is, maybe theyre not so keen on spending time with him.
I think the same holds true of the relationship between Katie, Stassi, and Kristen.
That is why Carter is perfect for her.
Most of us dont get these edicts.
The center cannot hold.Turning and turning in the widening gyre, the falcon cannot hear the falconer.
Surely some revelation is at hand, surelythe second coming is at hand.
That second coming is not Dayna, Max, and Brett, a solution in search of a problem.
Danica is the only one who deserves a job.
Danica is the only one who brings it.
Give her a show.Below Deck: Danica.Danica Ever After.Danica Takes Over.
Danica Eye for the Straight Guy.
Dont worry, well lock up, they say.
Their kisses become wetter, more intense, the passion rising within them.
Schwartz runs his large palms along Sandovals sculpted arms and grabs him by the hips.
He turns him around and bends him over, Sandovals arms grabbing the bar, propping himself up.
Say it, Sandoval tells him.
Youre the number one guy in the group.
Youre the number one …
