Vanderpump Rules
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Lisa Vanderpump is a master of reality television and, yet again this episode, she shows us how.
She and the Toms are opening Tom Tom for the first time for theDailyMailTVparty.
Lisa tells the Toms that they cant invite all of their friends.
However, Lisa puts her foot down and says that they cant invite Kristen.
This isnt an actual party, it is reality-television spon-con.
Why is this a masterstroke?
Those pouts are the most work that Kristen has done on this show in two seasons.
I hate when people say that.
Its the same as when people say that their haters are jealous.
No, they are neither of those things.
They just dont like you.
This really just shows to me that these two are in a relationship of convenience.
This is almost like Scheana trying to get everyone to talk about her and Adam.
No one cares about you and Adam.
No one is talking about it.
There are also no contracts.
Shes like, Id rather do this with a handshake because a business partnership comes down to trust.
Do you think Lisa makes a paid appearance at an opening of dog boutique without getting something in writing?
Like hell she does!
As for Tom Tom, it is fine.
Its just fine inside.
(Contrary to what I reported in last weeks recap, the picture of them kissing is still up.
Now Im going to have to return my Pulitzers I won for Accuracy in Real Housewives Recappery.)
Lala says it is chic AF.
Tom Tom is many things, but chic is not one of them.
Those dowdy chandeliers are not chic.
Turquoise as an accent color is not chic.
A steampunk art installation is not chic.
All of these things are the opposite of chic.
They are le freak.
I feel like every one of Jamess gigs should be performed as such.
Downstairs, Lisa gets a little bit drunker than weve ever seen her.
Tom Schwartz could feel his mates heart beating quickly under his firm, toned chest.
He broke from their embrace slightly so he could stare into the blue pools of his eyes.
Schwartz couldnt believe what was happening.
It was overwhelming for both of them.
Most of all Schwartz wanted to calm him down.
He ran his hand along Sandovals closely shaved forehead and then down his stubbly cheek.
Finally Schwartz put his forehead on Sandovals and said, Do you want to do Oms?
Sure, Sandoval said.
But thats not really the hummer Im thinking about right now.
