Vanderpump Rules
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The first is the fake commercial they made for FOMO, a.k.a.
Tequila is a medication used to treat FOMO and can ease symptoms.
Its the most scathing yet hilarious thing this show has ever done.
At dinner Kristen takes her shoes off to sit down.
When everyone gets a little grossed out she says, Ill even go barefoot in West Hollywood.
Tom Schwartz immediately replies, Ew!
That isnt the only thing that Kristen has to be embarrassed about.
What about when all the girls go skinny dipping?
Kristen cant even take two steps in the ocean without going head over supermarket feet?
Or what about later, when Kristen says she doesnt forecast herself having any meltdowns on this trip?
You mean she can see those coming and does nothing to prevent them?
But I do have Kristens back on one thing, and thats that Jax needs to let Pillowgate go.
Both Kristen and James vigorously deny that.
Of course they would, especially if they were vigorously doing something the night before.
When it comes up again, Jax tells everyone he still believes that Kristen had sex with James.
Kristen tells Jax once again that she didnt sleep with James.
I didnt do that shit, Kristen says.
I made some bad mistakes, but I didnt do that.
Jax still doesnt believe her.
When is the hard work, the change, going to be enough to just be Kristen?
Thats a good point.
What really galls is that Jax wont give her the forgiveness that he asks for himself.
I used to feel the same way too.
Life is so much better when everyone gets what they want and no one has to sacrifice.
Its just a silly little squabble every couple has being magnified by tequila (the cure for FOMO!)
and all the horrific bullshit shes experienced with dudes.
Stassi, seriously, get yourself into some therapy.
She had to have her vaginal area blurred repeatedly.
You know your shit is messy when there is a roving crotch blur there to keep you company.
Cant Ariana just go full lez and move in with Kristen Stewart and become a really chic designer lesbian?
That is the future I want for her.
We would all miss her on this show, though.
Just look at what she does for Lala when she pulls her aside at the group dinner.
Lala tells her that she should have, that she should have stood up for herself more.
Instead she tells Billie that shes ugly and her mother dresses her funny.
The way to get a shit stain out of a white dress isnt to shit on it some more.
Reruns ofThe Big Bang Theory?
Their kisses were sloppier than usual as the tequila raged through their livers.
Schwartz grabbed Sandovals ass and gave it a tight squeeze, like palming a precious melon.
Sandoval let another one rip, and they broke their embrace for a minute to laugh.
Sandoval lunged back at Schwartzs mouth, but as he did, Schwartz let out his own fart.
