Friday Night Movie Club
Spend an evening withVulture, every Friday at 7 p.m. Save this article to read it later.
Find this story in your accountsSaved for Latersection.
He is so frightened by her that the two leave the movie before it even begins.
Pace:Clearly very slow, since the two are able to leave before she catches up with them.
Disturbingness of chosen form:Girl seems to be unknown to all parties.
However, the audience cant see her, which is scary in its own way.
Overall swagger:Swagger essentially nonexistent.
Total sex-demon points: 7
10.
Girl Who Pees on Herself in Kitchen
This girl pees on herself in Jays kitchen.
Pace:Very slow.
Perhaps due to the peeing.
Contrast of attire and setting:Dress half off, bra half off, peeing.
If youre going to look like this anywhere, probably best in a kitchen.
Obviousness of demonic nature:100 percent this gal is a demon and she knows it and she loves it.
Overall swagger:Unfortunately this demon does not have a ton of swag.
Total sex-demon points: 14
9.
Old Woman on College Campus
Pace:Slow, due to compression socks.
Contrast of attire and setting:White nightgown, said compression socks, normal shoes.
Rare in a college-campus setting.
However, it is notably unsettling to consider being sex-murdered by an old woman in compression socks.
Overall swagger:Shes definitely got swag and its all in the choice of shoes.
Total sex-demon points: 15
8.
This Gal
Who is she?
Pace:Medium fast.
Contrast of attire and setting:A white dress.
Because it is chic!
Anyway, its weird to wear this to the beach but I suppose it could be considered a cover-up.
Shes just a gal.
Obviousness of demonic nature:Not obvious, perhaps she just needs a tampon.
Overall swagger:Hair is pretty on point here.
But the dress, again, is off.
Total sex-demon points: 17 points
7.
Pace:12 centimeters per second.
(I did not count.)
Shes going kinda slow compared to other sex demons.
Overall swagger:Overflowing with low-key swag.
Total sex-demon points: 18
6.
Giant Man with Holes for Eyes
This man follows Yara (sleepy, as always) into Jays bedroom.
He is so tall.
Pace:Very fast as he is so tall.
Contrast of attire and setting:Ripped T-shirt and khakis.
Disturbingness of chosen form:Mostly upsetting because he is so tall.
Does not seem to be related to the central characters in any way.
Obviousness of demonic nature:Too tall not to be a demon.
Total sex-demon points: 19
5.
Gregs Mom
Gregs mom knocks on his door, kills him, then has sex with him.
Pace:Gregs mom doesnt move until she attacks him, during which point she moves very quickly.
However, it is not normal to open your sons door in a nightgown with your boob hanging out.
Disturbingness of chosen form:Gregs mom fucks him to death.
Pretty disturbing, even in America where there are no taboos left.
Obviousness of demonic nature:Would not be obvious save for one boob hanging out.
Overall swagger:Zero swag.
Freaky Yara
Freaky Yara is not to be confused with Real Yara.
Freaky Yara is a sex demon.
Akin to Real Yara.
Contrast of attire and setting:Jean shorts and a tank top.
All seems fine here.
Disturbingness of chosen form:Highly.
Obviousness of demonic nature:100 percent obvious as the Real Yara is already there.
Overall swagger:Too much swag.
A frightening amount of swag.
More swag than Real Yara, which makes it all the more suspicious.
Total sex-demon points: 20
3.
Small Scary Boy
Small Scary Boy is what Freaky Yara transforms into after she is flouted at the beach.
Hes small, hes scary, and he screams.
Pace:Supernaturally fast, very good at crawling through door holes.
Contrast of attire and setting:An all-white outfit that includes suspenders.
Extremely unusual Michigan beach-town attire.
Disturbingness of chosen form:Rather disturbing considering he is a small unattended child trying to sex-kill.
Overall swagger:The suspenders are extremely swaggy.
Total sex-demon points: 23 points
2.
Pace:Throws electronics very fast.
Contrast of attire and setting:Wearing boxers and a white tank at the pool.
Certainly would arouse suspicion at the local indoor Y. Disturbingness of chosen form:Highly.
Jays dead/absent/abusive dad is trying to murder her via physics at her childhood pool.
Obviousness of demonic nature:Incredibly obvious.
Overall swagger:Outfit has extreme dad-at-home swag.
Total sex-demon points: 24 points
1.
Contrast of attire and setting:No attire, on a roof.
Disturbingness of chosen form:The most disturbing.
I dont ever want to see a naked man on a roof!
Obviousness of demonic nature:See a naked man on a roof?
Overall swagger:More confidence and swagger than everyone I know put together.
Total sex-demon points: 25 points
