The Real Housewives of Potomac
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Would it be too much to ask for everyone to just calm down?
Like maybe even just 15 percent?
kindly, women of Potomac.
just, Wendy, Ashley, Candiace, drink a glass of warm milk or whatever the fuck.
Do I want you to chill out?
Lets get to it.
This whole episode is centered on getting the ladies to Moniques lake house.
Hes far too reasonable and always telling Candiace to be nice to everyone and apologize for her misdeeds.
Michael, its a Bravo girls trip.
Its going to be less than 48 hours.
You cant keep your own fucking baby alive for 45 hours?
The bar is on the floor and Michael is greasing himself up to slither underneath it.
Not a great episode for boring white husbands.
Monique is leading the convoy up to the lake house with Gizelle and Karen.
Monique and this goddamn bird.
There are only two explanations for her attachment to this bird.
Those are the only two explanations and I will accept nothing less.
Karen also manages to completely insult Gizelles wardrobe.
Everyone in Car No.
Robyn is the first to arrive at the lake house.
Robyn is always wearing some little kaftan, and I admire that about her.
Candiace arrives next and steps out of the car going, Surprise, bitch.
Wendy arrives and shes instantly furious that she wasnt able to bring her baby.
We all gotta deal with it.
Wendy is full-on screaming.
Monique starts talking about what did you do?
What did WE do?!
That bird is reckless and has nothing to lose.
Keep him in a cage!
Then Monique puts the bird on the toilet as if thats going to do something.
c’mon, dont convince yourself any more that youve potty-trained this bird.
You dont get to have it both ways, Wendy.
Then Ashley and Wendy are just SCREAMING at each other.
At one point, Ashley screams, GO FACETIME YOUR BABY!
But even that is impossible since the lake house has shitty Wi-Fi.
Candiace, those shoes are last season!
WELL YOUR HUSBAND IS DISEASE-RIDDLED CRACKHEAD AND YOU ARE HIS BED WENCH.
Ashley and Monique propose a game where everyone can ask each other questions.
Youre on the board together, Karen!
Youre on the subcommittee!
They agree to do lunch and well see how that goes.
Then its time for the ladies to ask Wendy about her snapping in the kitchen.
Wendy was talking shit about Ashleys husband and started to pop off.
Ashley doesnt deserve an apology.
Then … things … escalate…
This is why you dont have female friends
I have female friends, just not with fake bitches.
Call me Doctor Wendy, sweetie.
TO BE CONTINUED…
