The Real Housewives of Potomac
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Were back, baby.
God Save the (Seven) Queen(s of Potomac)!
You grab your husbands flat-as-a-pancake butt on national television, Candiace!
Keep that spark alive!
Now Im no expert, but there seems to be a clear improvement from the B.S.
era to the A.S. era.
InJesusSteven, all things are possible.
Smart move, Karen, you dont need a potential lawsuitfrom a native New Yorker.
While discussing her launch party, Wig Shift with a Bang (get it?
We then get to the moment weve all been waiting for: The Triumphant Return of Monique Samuels.
She wastes absolutely no time sandbagging the other ladies at her lunch with Ashley Darby and baby Dean.
Shes still got it, folks.
Can we talk about how Monique and Ashley Darby order their meals at the restaurant?
Im looking at that whole Branzino, says Monique while Ashley goes, Lets holler at that tuna tartare.
BRB getting that tattooed on my lower back.
La Grande Dame, always aware when something is afoot, yells, You tried it.
Bye, through the phone at Ashley Darby, to which Mrs. Darby correctly responds You did it yourself.
When Gizelle tells the girls that Jamal is coming for the holidays, their immediate response is Why?
Its… genuinely one of the darker Housewives scenes I can recall in recent history.
Gizelles daughters do not want to see their father, and thats that on that.
TheseLittle Womenwant their father character actor Bob Odenkirk to stay at war for as long as humanly possible.
Im gonna do some stuff to Ray in the bathtub.
It will be alright, Karen says, which sounds more like a threat than a sexual invitation.
Wendy tears up, and its actually a genuinely positive mother-daughter interaction on the show.
Candiace and Dorothy, take notes!
Thats just not who I am.
As such, the photoshoot goes on as planned, sans Jamal, and they get a beautiful shot.
Table for four, anyone?
Gizelles not the only housewife with a nere do well husband, of course.
Theres also Mrs. Darby!
We touch down on Ashley Darby filleting a full red snapper with its face still attached for dinner.
If that beer company doesnt run Ashley Darby a check, I swear to god.
Umm, my dude, theres no if here.
Lets edit that out and loop back and try.
Where should the party be, the Library of Congress?
This is the content I crave.
Its not gonna make an AP US textbook anytime soon, but she looks fierce.
Robin, mid-bite, asks Karen, Are you afraid of what you might say when you drink?
hitting a nerve and causing Karen to retaliate in an unhinged way.
Ashley reveals that Karen invited Monique to the party to the surprise of the other ladies.
I paid the bill.
Hey, if youre gonna go down swinging, I guess thats the way to do it.
Well, I think that settles it.
Somehow, thats how we ended the penultimate episode of the fifth season of theReal Housewives of Potomac.
