The Real Housewives of Orange County
Save this article to read it later.
Find this story in your accountsSaved for Latersection.
The best part of this 15th-season premiere is something taken from the shows original inspiration.
They say seasons dont change around here.
But thats not quite true, says Jeana, the only O.C.
Its the Real Housewives reveling in its own nostalgia.
This is a move that can only be practiced by a show with longevity.
The rest of this episode, honestly, is a bit unmooring.
Without Vicki or Tamra this season, we are free of OGs.
Without those lodestars in the cast, I dont even remember what the allegiances were.
Do they even exist?
Most notably, everyone has a new house, and everyone has a new man.
Should we talk about Shannons house or her man first?
), and twins Adeline and Stella, who are 15 and gorgeous.
Like watch out Gigi and Bella gorgeous.
Like too short to be supermodels but will definitely have more Instagram followers thanBrielle Zolciak Biermann gorgeous.
(just dont Google that.
If you didnt get it, the joke is not for you.)
Next up is Gina, who has a townhome in Rancho Viejo.
Ginas teeny-tiny three-bedroom is brought to you by HomeGoods.
I swear there is so much Live.
in this place that it seems like product integration.
He is handsome, with a full beard and more than a bit of a belly.
If he liked dick a little bit more, the North American Homosexual would call him abear.
This helps explain something that must be addressed and that makes me a little uncomfortable: Gina got fat.
Thankfully, she acknowledges this herself, because otherwise I would feel a little bit bad bringing it up.
Because thats the thing: Gina is notfat.
She is just bigger than she was before.
She is still pretty and a totally acceptable weight, but she is … noticeably bigger.
Kelly seems great, though.
Shes getting laid on the regular, as she will tell us every opportunity she gets.
Is there anything sadder than a nightclub in someones suburban basement?
If you want that life, then move to a city and go to a real nightclub.
Everyone has a new friend named Elizabeth Vargas.
Due to the Eileen Davidson Accord of 2012, we cannot judge her for five episodes.
She is both Kelly and Braunwyns friend, so she has some natural connection to the group.
Lets see how this goes, shall we?
Braunwyn gets her two new neighbors together at her house and gives them shots so they can start anew.
You cant have a deep, meaning conversation with someone who cant stand up, she says.
Its going to be like Dorinda all over again.But then it took a turn.
Its rare to see Housewives take accountability for their drunken behavior.
