The Real Housewives of Orange County
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The episode starts with a simple household scene.
She cant smell it.
He sniffs it again and is like, Yeah, something smells.
Shannon still cant find it.
You have to tell me what it is.
You know I cant smell anything after my sinus surgery.
Finally, to make her feel better, John tells Shannon that her fridge doesnt smell anymore.
But what if it isnt the sinus surgery?
What if Shannon has lost her sense of smell?
You know what that is a symptom of?
Yes, the disease formerly known ascornova virus.
Do you think she had it?
Do you think she got it way back then?
I spent most of the episode going from loving Shannon to hating her.
John tells her that is her pelvic bone and that pain will go away.
Seriously, is this guy going to mansplain sore vaginas to a woman who actually possesses one?
Then she gets all mad when Kelly Dodd meets her father and says, Big dick daddy from Cincinnati.
Shannon admits that hes a party boy and ladies man with a much younger second wife.
He probably loved it.
Get over it, Shannon.
I also loved Shannon when she took Braunwyn to go see Dr.
Moon, her acupuncturist and all-around medical guru.
Then I hate Shannon when she finally gets on Dr. Moons table.
Shes complaining about how sore her tailbone is has she been Pelo-ing the Ton again?
(Dont Google that.
The joke was not meant for you.)
Im shocked that Shannon didnt ask to speak to the manager, the irony being that sheisthe manager.
You know that Shannon is the Chief Karen of her block.
Im so back and forth on Shannon.
while Shannon hyperventilates on the lawn.
I am not at all ambiguous about my feelings for Braunwyn.
In fact, her clutching onto sobriety is the most painfully common thing there is.
and goes into her room to complain about her problems.
This is like a game of telephone.
I dont mean its like one person telling the next and things getting confused.
I mean that its antiquated, no one has one anymore, and most people dont care about it.
Shannon insists she didnt call the house sad and depressing but Braunwyn says she did.
Why make everyone argue when they can just go back to the footage?
Okay, so I checked the tape.
[Said with my mouth full.]
Shannon says that the place is small.
Its…a lot, she says.
Why wouldnt they show us?
(Its going to court!
It could take years!
Bethenny Frankelisstillmarried to Jason Hoppy!)
and Shannon says, I didnt and Gina says, Okay, were cool.
But then Shannon is rip-roaring mad when Braunwyn arrives and accuses her of putting words in my mouth.
As they chat, Shannon gets more and more heated and its really unfair to Braunwyn.
I dont understand why Braunwyn keeps insisting that Shannon said it.
This is such a rookie sober mistake.
This islike Luann making fun of Tinsley for slurring her wordson the RHONY trip to Miami.
Just because shes sober a month doesnt give her super ginko biloba memory powers.
Braunwyn has the newly sober halo and she is having a hard time interacting with the world.
Everyone in recovery goes through it, but insisting that shes right ain’t running for her.
What I would suggest is going in, apologizing, and trying to explain herself.
Instead she tries to defend herself.
Emily is all of us when she says, You have two nannies and you dont work.
You could find the time.
(Again, do not Google.)
As things escalate, Gina says, Youre like a sloppy chihuahua.
Youre wasted all the time.
And that is when Braunwyn decides to confess, Im 30 days sober today, bitch.
She busts out of Shannons screen door and throws her sunglasses to the ground.
Get it off, she whispers breathily, clawing at her neck.
Sean catches up to her and tries to hug her, tries to get her arms by her sides.
Get it off me, she says.
