The Real Housewives of Orange County
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I swear those raccoon paintings were a punishment fromJumanji.
The other crazy thing we got a glimpse of in this episode is Shane Simpsons garage.
But did you see the garage?
(Hi, Jim Bellino!
Love your place!)
And hes power washing it.
Who owns a power washer?
And who power washes their garage?
And who owns a pinball machine and has it in their garage?
Theres a whole lot of COVID this episode.
I mean, who could they film?
Yeah, thats a no from me, dawg.
Shannons COVID journey continues to be a bit confusing for me.
But if Shannon was away for two weeks, are we sure she got it from them?
And if Shannon has been gone for two weeks, why is Sophie just having trouble breathing now?
Shouldnt her symptoms be abating?
Well, what was the answer?
No, Braunwyn says.
But shes still with him in his house.
Are they getting divorced or not?
Does she even know?
I know that Braunwyn has come out as a lesbian, but are she and Sean still together?
The lesbianism, naturally, seems like a big problem for Braunwyn and Sean continuing to remain hitched.
Okay, are these two getting it on like Kristen Stewart and anyone with a chic haircut or what?
What is wrong with me this week?
All I have are questions and no one has answers.
The one person we finally got answers from is Elizabeth Vargas.
As the episode starts, Braunwyn is coaching her through the panic attack.
Now tell me two things you’re able to smell.
Now tell me one thing it’s possible for you to feel.
Once Elizabeth calms down, she gives Braunwyn the whole story in pieces.
It turns out that Elizabeths grandmother ran a cult and her father was one of the main religious leaders.
There was also a lot of sexual abuse, particularly of the girls, going on in this religion.
Elizabeth says that day her dad said to her, You have lost a father.
Do you think that producers knew about this when they cast Elizabeth?
I imagine they didnt, since she tells Braunwyn shes never really talked about it.
while this is unfolding in real time.
As Elizabeth starts unfolding the story, Gina asks, point blank, You were molested?
Yeah, bad, Elizabeth answers.
Yeah, by many men.
She dives right into that murky lake and plucks the sludge right up from the bottom.
Elizabeth does say some really revealing things along with all of this.
That, right there, is why she makes up all of these stories.
Holy shit, is thisHousewivesor a Freudian case study?
This thing just got darker than the bottom of a mine shaft during an eclipse.
Everyone went from dour to excited for a brief shining moment.
She yelled, pulling the tiniest, loneliest, breathiest little fish out of that sad sloppy lake.
It seemed, if you looked at it from a distance, like she was praying.
