The Real Housewives of New York
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But lets be honest, this season has been… a transition.
Now that were nineteen (19!)
(Too soon?)
(Yeah, Im masc, so what?)
Were ready to shake things the fuck up.
And who else better to shake things up than patient zero for Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Miss Ramona Singer.
Ramona is upset, you see, because Dorinda has been very mean (!)
to Ramona (!)
all season (!)
and Ramona has no idea why!!!
and passive-aggressively send an article (that I am almost positive was not peer reviewed!)
about anger management to a group text consisting of Dorinda, Luann, and Sonja.
This is sure to fix everything, right?
Even so, Ramona had no business sending that text message.
Anger is what fuels her.
Its what keeps her motor running, what gets her out of the bed every morning.
Who needs yoga when it’s possible for you to center yourself by being a massive bitch?
(pronounced DIE-flecting) Ramona shouts, incoherently.
No, its deflecting, says Sonja, a gentleman and a scholar, correcting her friend.
Ramona halfheartedly attempts to make a joke that diflecting is in Ramonas Dictionary.
What do you think is in Ramonas Dictionary?
I have a lot of friends.
Im invited to a lot of places.
She stays home all the time.
The lady doth protest too much.
I actually pooped in my robe, says Ramona, with a sheepish grin on her face.
Why does poop follow these women wherever they go?
ItsThe Picture of Dorian Grey, and Ramonas asshole is the picture.
Can Ashleys butt doctor from RHOP hop on the Acela and inject all of these womens butts with botox?
I smell a crossover episode!
RHONY x RHOP: The Butthole Diaries.
Also, raise your hand if you believe Dorinda has ever watched CNN?
Cool, me neither, glad we cleared that up.
Dorinda, honey, just check her LinkedIn, take some screenshots, and call it a day.
Real talk, Im gonna need all these women specifically Dorinda to take an acting class.
Dorindas tactic in a fight is almost always to patronize and its wearing thin.
Lets get some new objectives in there: to burn to cut to decimate even!
Someone enroll these girls in Stella Adler at NYU!
We spend the second half of the episode touching down with the women in New York.
On a day I might like you.
On another I might not like your sister.
You cant dislike only one of your kids, but its totally fine to dislike all of your kids.
Shes a teetotaler and she has no issue chowing down while delivering cold hard truths completely unemotionally.
Clearly, Leahs mommy issues are a her problem and not a Bunny problem.
Not gonna lie, this whole section made me legitimately emotional.
The collaboration between Sonja and Century 21, a store for discount fashions, feels right.
Its like peanut butter and jelly or[checks notes]coke and rose, it just makes sense.
This is a huge moment for the girls who got a B- in Algebra 2 for their class participation.
Our favorite floozy,Sonja Tremont Morgan did it.
She by Sheree could never.
Im calling Greta Thunberg on her ass.
Im never drinking water again (as if I ever did before).
I think it will look splendid with Leahs neon beanie.
