The Real Housewives of New York City
Save this article to read it later.
Find this story in your accountsSaved for Latersection.
We are back here in an absolute ruin that nothing will fix.
The nation remains bitterly divided over what should happen and how exactly to repair this shambles.
No, I am not talking about the United States of America.
I am talking about the townhouse of Sonja Tremont-Morgan of the Dr. Crappers Constantly Leaking Water Closet Morgans.
But were not talking about her.
Were talking about my favorite floozy, Sonja Morgan.
I think it is still damaged (both physically and psychologically) from the Great Blackberry Flood of 2011.
Sonjas biggest worry right now is her townhouse.
Now shes looking for a new renter.
That explanation seems fishier thanCaptain Leesundergarments.
Its clear that Sonja is having some money troubles and cant get anyone to rent out her apartment.
She wants to update the house, but on the cheap.
Im sorry, but that is never going to happen.
Sonja has a little breakdown later at Ramonas party when Dorinda asks her what she is upset about.
She says not being able to rent the house is stressing her out.
Sonja needs to just get rid of that damn house.
Its probably a $5 million property.
Just sell it and live off the interest of that money.
Between that and her salary from the show, that would give her a very nice living.
I hate when I have to get political aboutTheReal Housewives.
I also want to applaud Luann for bringing attention to a very worthy charity.
Im sure none of Ramonas 50 girlfriends at her birthday party would think that way.
As Leah says, she was expecting the party to look like a MAGA rally.
It is, essentially, the worlds first Karen convention.
That means her ex, Mario, could not attend.
I just loved Ramonas dinner with her daughter, Avery, and Mario.
I ship them so hard.
I just want them to be together and happy because they are endgame.
She asks Mario if he is dating anyone, and hes like define dating.
Mario is smashing ass and not taking names.
As Itold you last time, I used to go to underground gay sex parties at that place.
Instead, it was two $100 bills!
(Also, bonus points for the one they labeled Sonja Insists More of Her Friend than Ramonas.)
Sonja is not giving her the same consideration.
I dont think that we can really claim ownership over human beings.
I cant get mad at Sonja, even while shes being vile.
Sonja is trying to dance, but shes really rubbing her ass against the bar.
She looks like that, all limp limbs and imminent destruction.
Ramona loses her shit and goes to the producers and asks them to shut it down.
She screams, Ill quit the show if you dont make it stop right now.
Thirdly, how many times do you think Ramona has threatened to quit, and she still hasnt?
Did this trick ever work?
But she was there, at that tacky event with those awful people, and she just hated it.
But as she watches it now, what wouldnt she give for a party?
What wouldnt she give for the only passable tuna tartare at Scarpetta downtown.
