The Real Housewives of New York City
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This all happens during a very rambunctious evening at Ramonas Hamptons cottage, Boniva Cliffs.
I thought this was a forever method?
Its like a bonus.
You get the service and someone nice to look at.
The only exception is with a nanny.
Never hire an attractive nanny.
If you dont know why, justask Jennifer Garner.
But you mustnt have a hard time meeting people, Luann coos.
No, and it can happen when you least expect it, he says.
Like today, Luann purrs suggestively.
To which he replies, Maybe not today.
I could feel it through the television.
He dropped Luann like your grandmothers dentures falling out of her face and onto the dusty nursing home floor.
Luann starts it up again when Sonjas dog groomers show up at Ramonas house to cut Marleys hair.
Luann, on the other hand, does not.
She is all up in the blonde ones face, helping him shampoo Sonjas dog in the sink.
I dont know how to read that, but he surely doesnt stick around.
Speaking of which: Ramona Singer is the worst host on the East End.
Isnt the party helper there to, you know,help?
Leah is the only one who seems to take a shine to him.
WHHHHHYYYYYYYYY would you likethis guy?
I mean, right to his face!
Thats even harsher than what fake Andre Agassi did to Luann.
Things just get crazier after that.
Tinsley needs to trademark this shit.
She needs to file a patent right now and start selling this as a bachelorette party game.
She will make enough money that she can leave the Mortimer name behind.
Say what you will about Mx.
Singer, but I believe that she is right about all of this.
Outside, Leah strips down to her nude thong and dives into the pool.
These represent bad things, she says.
Tinz replies, No, they represent, like, a fun party.
Leah then snarls, No, you dont read the news enough.
As Sonja would say, thats a touche.
When the women get out of the pool and go inside, Leah is still on a hot streak.
Why does your vagina have wings?
she asks, referring to the tattoos (twat-toos?)
that Leah has right on her pelvis.
Leah shouts in a tone that I will absolutely never forget.
They are more than the legacies they inherited, she screams.
They are their own people, she yells into a blonde abyss.
I do love that Leah is, as Tinsley put it, a one woman Occupy Hamptons.
While this is the worst that we see of the evening, things certainly went downhill afterwards.
In the morning, when she wakes up, shes pissed about the condition of her house.
There are dishes and broken glasses everywhere.
As Leah points out, There is a vibrator in the chicken.
Then Leah says, Yeah, its even worse outside.
Also, Ramona left!
If she had stayed she could have kept the mess from happening in real time.
Ramona was definitely an accessory in the destruction of her own house.
As this debate is roiling downstairs, everyone asks, Wheres Tinz?
Cut to her passed out upstairs with a plate of half-eaten pasta perilously perched on a white duvet.
Its a perfect sitcom button to this whole episode, which had numerous actual LOL moments.
See, these women dont need to do anything or go anywhere, to have fun.
Like a good frozen pina colada mix, just add alcohol, stir, and enjoy.
Will she figure out how to get tests to Bravolebrities so that they can get back to filming?
She will do none of that.
And shes almost happy about the comedown.
