The Real Housewives of New Jersey
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I felt like I needed to mention this to you.
Anyway, Jackies mom is thrilled to hear that her daughters arereestablishing their relationship.
(Or: What if shesalreadymade her Bravo debut and we dont know it?
Could Jackies sister be a stew onBelow Deck?
OtherRHONJrelationships, alas, remain in stasis.
At least Concetta the Catholic Psychic didnt force her to spit into a tube.
You know how you said youre, like, a role model for me?
one son (Im sorry, I cant keep track of anyone who isntOlivia) tells him.
I feel like I dont really see it that much, because youre not around.
(On an Arbitrary Celebration scale from 1 to17-year vow renewal, I score this event a 4.)
Jennifer is decked out in an impressive tiara-pop in thing and an even more impressive ponytail.
They even serve a multitiered not-technically-a-wedding-cake, though Im sorry to report its not red velvet.
It is a perfectly lovely party.
A second kind of party begins when Danielle and Marty arrive.
So tell me, was anything said about me tonight?
Danielle declares Margaret to be nothing but a manipulative, malicious bitch shortly thereafter.
You are Teresa Giudice and you dont let anyone tell you what to do.
Who the hell is Margaret Josephs to dictate to Teresa Giudice?
Danielle asks, both manipulatively and maliciously.
All this shit-talking is only the opening act to the evenings marquee conflict between Margaret and Danielles husbands.
As Joe G. puckishly eggs them on, Joe B. and Marty take to the backyard tosettle their differences.
This is not only extremely rude and inappropriate, but, I have to point out, simply untrue.
Marge has great boobs.
What man would say that about someone elses wife?
Margaret asks, having by this point come outside to find Joe.
(Or about … anyone, one feels compelled to ask.)
Now, children: In this TV family, we use our words, not our hands.
That said, Marty sucks.
Your husbands in the pool, Margaret coolly informs Danielle.
Who threw my husband in the pool?!
Me and my husband, she answers with pride.
