The Real Housewives of New Jersey
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(Also, hi!
Three.Three!Oh, stop.
Oh, hold on.
Let me catch my breath.
Oh, I think I just peed a little from laughing too hard.
And to make it worse, Melissa is, like, super-duper fertile.
(For the record, all of these drag queens likely have more working sperm than Joe Gorga.)
She didnt invite me?
Bitch, Teresa spews like a broken percolator.
(The first isjarts.)
God, can we justfast-forward to the divorcethat we all know is coming already?
I feel like this has to be thebanjee-estjob these drag queens have ever had.
I mean, couldnt she bring them through the house or something to avoid that unsightly mess?
Despite that, brunch is going pretty well.
However, Jackie told her not to ever sell the guy the ring back.
After she tells this story, Jennifer says, Wow, she must have had some money growing up.
This is completely the wrong lesson to learn from this story.
The lesson to learn from this story is that Jackie is completely insane.
Why would she even bother with any of this?
Dolores, correctly, says, This is going to be a war.
Look at Dolores, someone must have given her a Magic 8-Ball for Christmas.
Everyone loves it except for Jennifers mother, Josephine.
She didnt really like it because it wasnt something she was used to.
Lets give Josephine a chance to do the right thing before we all pile on her.
Both Jennifer and her brother realize that it is not his problem, its Josephines.
This is what we need to make progress.
Telling her how wrong and awful she is isnt going to help anyone.
Her family is guiding her in the right direction, lets just hope she follows them.
But this scene is the most I have ever liked Jennifer.
Jackies Hamptons house is really cute on the inside.
It looks like Tory Burch designed a house for her little sister whose family lives in Cleveland.
And we are off on the Teresa venom train.
She is thinner-skinned than an onion on Accutane.
Sadly there probably wont be any, but it does spell a lot of drama for the week ahead.
