The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
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Im talking about Dorits party itself.
What was that evil papier-mache monster and why was he in a sleigh?
What about that thing says Christmas?
Are we sure hes not the second coming of Bob fromTwin Peaks?
He isnot Cory, the old hot gay party planner.
Why is Dorit not using Cory anymore?
Is it because production couldnt afford him?
Is it because Dorit and PK have an outstanding bill with Cory and he wont work with them anymore?
I mean, actually, yeah.
Out comes Simon Winthrop, who makes Teddis ring disappear and calls her beautiful while hes doing it.
What we didnt know is that Simon Winthrops stage name is The Great Mansplaini.
When Garcelle arrives to the party late, Dorit drones, Oh, you missed the magic.
No one missed the magic.
There was no magic involved.
She later tells Lisa that she didnt want some Jerry Fucking Springer moment when confronting Brandi at the party.
You know it was going to go down.
Dorit says later that Denise pretending to come and then not showing up was tricky and manipulative.
That is a total misread of the situation.
I dont think thats tricky on Denises part, I think thats tricky on productions part.
Anyway, we get through the entire party.
We see Adrienne, queen of the Maloofs, a race of mole people that live under a mountain.
We see Suttons latest atrocity of a dress.
After this season, Ill be shocked if Dolce and Gabbana dont send her a cease and desist letter.
This dress looked like it was made from the afghan slung over the back of Roseannes couch.
The dress looked like the placemats from the HBO seriesLucky Louiestarring Louie CK.
The dress looked like something from the Kevin Spacey movie…. you know what?
That dress was ugly.
It was just ugly, okay?
After the party, a producer tells Garcelle about the text from Aaron.
Then we get all sorts of producer interference.
We see that weeks later the news about her affair with Brandi breaks in the press.
Then we see that she sent cease and desist letters to the cast and producers.
Then we see that she wants to go over Lisa Rinnas house to talk.
Here is what is annoying me about this season.
That agenda is to make us believe the women over Denise Richards because Denise makes the show look bad.
I have no doubt that conversation happened.
If the show is now going to be transparent, then it needs to be transparent.
They did not just need to have a Christmas cocktail.
They were fulfilling a contractual obligation.
What is for sure is that the shows attempts to make us blame Denise are not working.
Is what shes saying true?
I would believe that Denise is more devious than we have been led to believe.
Shes going to make us look like a bunch of mean girls, just watch, Lisa says.
First of all, she knew that because Denise literally called them mean girls in Italy.
Was Denise lying about having sex with Brandi and being friends with her?
Was she lying about talking shit about the women to Brandi?
Was she manipulating the press?
Um, does a Lisa Vanderpump shit in the woods and aRadar Onlinearticle come out?
How did Brandi show up to talk about Denise and her relationship?
Why was that even necessary?
As I said before, everything that happened with Denise and Brandi should be off the show.
It doesnt concern this group of women, even if she did talk shit about them.
What I really dont understand, also, is just what Lisa Rinna is so mad about.
Oh, come on.
That excuse was flimsier than a vermicelli noodle in a vat of acid.
They all knew that was a lie, and it was one Denise owned after the fact.
Lisas anger at that is totally put on for the camera.
Is Lisa mad that Denise is lying?
But what are they upset that shes lying about?
That doesnt seem that unlikely.
But they all want to believe Brandi so bad.
I think its because Lisa Rinna is being outplayed by Denise Richards and shes pissed about it.
Then the final messages from each of the women are about what they have been doing during quarantine.
Denise, however, wasnt doing any of this.
She wasnt on Instagram.
She wasnt protesting or dancing.
