The Real Housewives of Atlanta
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And this year?Real Housewives of Atlantadid not phone it in.
First up is Kenya with I wasGone With the Windbut Im back and twice as fabulous.
Up next is Eva with Im living my dream, not above my means.
We all know you still are.
Im still unclear exactly what your husband does and youre buying a new house.
Seven out of 12 bounced checks.
Cynthia says, The only time I look back is to see how far Ive come.
Did my mom write this without fully understanding the sexual innuendo?
Wouldnt have this been more appropriate for the season when Cynthia was buying Lake Bailey?
Her begging her boyfriend to propose doesnt feel like a look how far Ive come moment.
Three out of five CHILLs.
Porshas is, This phoenix has risen.
Brevity is the soul of shade.
Ten out of ten lace fronts.
Kandis is, Dont check for me unless youve got a check for me.
I require this on a sweatshirt in that curly cursive font thats all over Etsy IMMEDIATELY.
Twelve out of ten nipple clamps.
I think because NeNe isnt exactly associated with extravagant travel?
Theres room for improvement but its pretty solid.
Zero out of TWO EPISODES WITHOUT A NENE APPEARANCE!
Lets get to it.
Its going to be positively impossible for me to be objective about this episode and the womens struggles within.
(Because I know you all come to me for my objectivity.
Its my best quality.)
Why is it going to be impossible?
What I didnt realize before watching this episode is that Porsha didnt even know what Dennis had done.
Well, Im sure sheknew, but he hadnt fully come clean with her.
They can patch it up ifall he didwas have sex with another woman while she was carrying his child.
Only if the drugs and bestiality stuff are true would that be an issue.
Porsha is committed to not depriving PJ of time with her father and is making PJ available for Dennis.
DENNIS TOOK THE RING BACK.
Im sorry … WHAT?
In what universe does he get the ring back?
Porsha should have sold that thing and bought herself a houseboat because doesnt that sound nice?
So what are the other women up to?
Well, Kenyas husband is just not around.
He makes her feel like she cant thrive.
She asks when shes going to see them and he answers with Well see.
Throw the whole husband away.
Noelle resists labeling her sexuality and remains the coolest person on this show.
Terrible word, truly awesome act.
Porsha has Shamea over for mommy cocktails.
So obviously, they banged.
Shes confused now because she doesnt want Dennis to think this problem could be solved by sex.
Hes suggested they go to therapy and Porsha is still on the fence.
Meanwhile, Kenya is shouting at Cynthia about Eva?
For Eva accusing Kenya of having bad energy?
That lady has bad energy.
For some reason, Cynthia has been defending Eva over Kenya and defending Eva to Kenyas face.
This can only end terribly.
A couple days later, Porsha heads out to therapy inSWEATSand calls her sister, Lauren.
Have you ever been to therapy without going over the outline of what youre going to say?
Thirty-five minutes later, Porsha leaves therapy and, my dear friends, she is wrecked.
She tries to say that people do stupid things, and Porsha says, Nope.
That shit was calculated.
And above all, it doesnt matter if Dennis is human or did something stupid.
He hurt her and betrayed her trust.
Isnt that enough to leave him?
Its better than being alone.
Its a little convoluted, but damn does it capture something potent.
