The Real Housewives of Atlanta
Save this article to read it later.
Find this story in your accountsSaved for Latersection.
Have we looked at how the planets were arranged during the filming of this season?
Anything and everything that could go wrong seems to have gone wrong.
A wedding planner believing she can get through the day without being choked?
Everyone is coming down from Evas wedding celebrations.
Eva is coming back from her honeymoon, where she banged her way around the Greek isles.
Porsha is doing a private yoga session with her baby bump.
Someone go throw an axe and report back.
Shamari is hanging out with Ron in a salt room, presumably to detox after the wedding.
Shamari says she wants Ronnies career to have longevity, so he has to tour.
I wouldnt be expecting too much of that longevity, so she needs to really let Ronnie tour.
Tanya arrives with all the energy that Tanya brings.
Also … is Tanya Canadian?
This episode she was hitting that soor-ry really hard.
Her being Canadian would make a lot of sense.
Shes corny in the exact way I imagine all Canadians to be.
Once Tanya arrives, Marlo just starts listing all of Evas flaws and mistakes.
Shes got bad credit.
Shes renting a house and has to leave immediately.
Her car is about to be repossessed.
She bought the car with government assistance.
(That is the one claim that seems to be supported by the least evidence.)
Marlo has concluded that Eva is a fraud.
Spreading rumors about someones finances seems like the least fun kind of rumor.
All of this obsession with each others houses and money is really gross and weird.
Marlo suggests sending a pizza to Evas house.
Are the writers moonlighting across franchises?
They call one of Evas bridesmaids, who is VERY EAGER to rant about Eva.
Never trust someone who screams about their issues with someone.
If they havent prepared an objective PowerPoint about their enemies flaws, they arent to be trusted.
The ladies all agree that NeNe should be the one to talk to Eva about this.
We all know this isnt going to happen, right?
Kandi is hanging out with her family and theyre celebrating the opening of the second OLG.
Kandi has an even bigger announcement: Kandi and Todd are going to have twins with the surrogate.
Im sorry WHAT.Riley basically says, I told you so.
Mama Joyces argument is that they should have more kids in case one of their kids dies.
This is taking a very dark turn.
Cant we just be happy about a baby?
Everyone loves a baby!
Speaking of an adorable baby, Porsha is finishing plans for her gender-reveal party.
Dennis really wants a boy because he is a man on television.
Dennis is just the quietest, least charismatic man.
Porsha tells him that he cant be living a bachelor life anymore.
Get into it, Dennis!
Kandi is like, That is … a lot.
Kandi is the voice of the audience.
WHICH IS TOTALLY FINE.
NeNe sits down with Gregg and talks to him about his behavior since his illness.
NeNe tells him that she felt their marriage was lost and her life changed too.
Gregg gives the worst possible apology and says, Im sorryifI was mean.
She told you that you were, Gregg.
Own up to it.
Thank goodness, science.
Shamari is fucking wasted.
Tanya decides to take Eva aside and tell her about their phone call.
Which producer convinced you to do this?
She knows that it was this bridesmaid who choked her wedding planner.
She also says that Shanita takes the tiniest bit of truth and spins it into a rumor.
Oh, so there is some truth?
Eva goes back in for her purse and gets in her car and drives away.
NeNe arrives and Tanya tells her what she did and NeNe is PISSED.
NeNe gets on the phone and tries to get Eva to come back to the party.
Eva comes back with Michael and says that she will only talk off camera.
Bravo production said, Fuck that.
Also, the FBI was involved.
This is … a lot.
Marlo turns to Kandi and says it sounds like an excuse.
WHY?!?!?
Marlo tries to give some completely unhelpful advice to Eva, and next week is the season finale.
Hopefully some planets will turn direct and everyone will settle down.
