The Real Housewives of Atlanta
Save this article to read it later.
Find this story in your accountsSaved for Latersection.
This episode got me.
This episode fucking got me.
How dare these women make me FEEL THINGS.
Im fully invested in their lives and I just want the best for them.
Which is really the sign of a truly amazing reality show.
But I am deeply involved with their emotional lives.
Lets just start with the most emotionally impactful story line and work our way to the least.
Up first is Porshas proposal.
I bet youre asking: Why isnt NeNes story the most emotionally impactful?
Porsha and Dennis head to a baby store to start picking out things for the baby.
Neither of them have kids so everything is shiny and new and confusing.
Dennis is positively perplexed by the concept of a nursing bra.
Has he never wandered into the maternity section of Target when he was looking for a swimsuit?
Porsha says that a good nursing bra will let you unleash the titty.
Put that on a tote bag.
Dennis is also unwilling to acknowledge that maybe Porshas titties are for something other than his amusement.
Porsha is very good at telling him something that sounds like a suggestion but its totally not.
Hes got people on it.
HE DEFINITELY HAS PEOPLE ON IT.
But before he can propose, Dennis and Porsha head to a go-kart track with Shamari and Ronnie.
Can we talk about this motherfucker right here?
Im SICK of Ronnie.
That is your partner of 17 years.
Your whole thing is being couple goals and doing that damn shoulder thing.
Your wife plucked a booger out of your nose during this very episode.
Its time for the proposal.
Shes incredibly focused on getting a proposal but missing all the clues.
Ladies, if hes suddenly interested in you getting your nails done, hes proposing.
Porsha and Dennis head off to their helicopter date and theyre just giggling.
When they arrive, Porsha asks why there isnt anyone else there.
Dennis says they have to pick everyone up one helicopter at a time.
These two are made for each other.
They go inside and Dennis has arranged for photographers, rose petals, candles, and Lil Mo.
When I saw it was Lil Mo, I fell out.
This is the most specific engagement singer you could hire.
Dennis then gets down on one knee and says Would you like to be Mrs. McKinley?
Bad proposal, Dennis.
Porsha says yes and they kiss and I ugly-cry alone in my robe.
The next most emotionally impactful story line is NeNes struggle with Gregg.
?Most of it is your stuff, Gregg.
NeNe explains that they were having problems before Greggs diagnosis and things havent gotten better.
If the next week on is any indication, shit is about to get real.
Does Todd think he has to like … marry the surrogate in order for the baby to arrive?
Hes weirdly hung up on if he has to hang out with her.
He also keeps acting like surrogates are some crazy newfangled invention when theyve been around since like the 80s.
Todd, do some research about what a surrogate is.
Finally, we have Eva.
Eva is hanging on by a thread.
No, she could not.
So she asks her friend and bridesmaid to find her several new dresses and try them on with her.
The ones that fitwont work.The ones that workdont fit.
Eva … maybe you dont need almost 250 people and three wedding dresses.
Maybe cutting back on literally any aspect would help with the cost and the stress.
Her friend tells her to put together a list and shell figure it out.
Eva collapses on the floor and her flop sweat is indistinguishable from her excessive highlighter.
When she collects herself, she heads downstairs and makes herself a cocktail.
Shes gonna need it for next weeks episode.
