The Real Housewives of Atlanta
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This is a classic We need one more episode before the big trip episode.
We cant even get to the packing montages because Tanya hasnt slipped on her kimono yet!
The hibachi chefs havent even made the onion volcano.
And this Porsha/Kandi feud is wearingthiiiiiiiiiiin.So lets get to it.
We pick up in the middle of the fight between Porsha and Kandi at the hibachi party at Tanyas.
The best part is that everyone is just hungry and wants to get to their meal.
The overall vibe is Can we not?
And where is my fried rice?
Porsha says, Fuck Kandi, the Factory, and the high horse she rode in on.
No, the donkey.
Its just not necessary here, Porsha, but I appreciate your linguistic efforts.
DidANYONEnotice when Porsha had a slip and said Kenya instead of Kandi?!?!?!
Im done, and you know what?
I think Kandi thinks that Porsha is just a big dummy with a short fuse.
Kandi is more than content to watch Porsha get worked up and laugh about it later.
And Kandi is not wrong.
Porsha is giving us way more in terms of laughs and sentimental moments.
Its just like I tell my beginning improv students: You cant heighten apathy.
They all head down to the hibachi room and the TWO hibachi chefs are just lighting things on fire.
Everyone is worried that their wigs are going to catch on fire.
They keep cutting to Cynthia holding her ponytail away from her head.
All that synthetic hair is just going to melt.
NeNe tells the chefs to season the food because the ladies are very Black.
Girl … one of the hibachi chefs is Black.
I think youll be okay.
I relate to Shamari in this moment.
Once they get upstairs, Tanya tries to rectify her shade-throwing since shes trying to get that peach …
I mean … shell be spending so much time with NeNe.
When you called Cynthia mother?
Thats a very subtle and nuanced distinction between shade and disrespect.
I think the difference is shade is done over mimosas and theres the plausible deniability of the phrase.
Like saying Look at thatoutfit!
when someone walks in.
It could be a compliment, but if you saw her outfit, youd know its shade.
Well, Eva can own up to this bachelorette-party mistake and invites everyone to Tokyo!
Porsha says that shes not excited about going with mean-mugging Godzilla, but Im very excited for this trip.
The two biggest emotional stories in the rest of the episode are NeNes and Porshas.
NeNes is setting the stage for some of her recent social-media venting sessions.
NeNe is throwing Gregg a birthday party and shes hired a chef to make a healthy menu.
Oh boy, Gregg.
Listen, the man has cancer.
And taking his frustrations out on NeNe means yelling or venting directly at her.
He also demands that the chef make him an alkaline diet.
Your body balances your pH!
You dont need to eat more berries to balance your bloods pH!
He also gets huffy because shes a chef that does vegan food but isnt a vegan chef.
I get where NeNe is coming from.
Kandi asks only questions about their sex life.
She demands to know what is Mikes go-to move to get Cynthia off in ten minutes or less.
If any man claims to have one go-to move to get a woman off, hes a liar.
Just say shes kind or something.
Marlo wants to know his credit score and when his last STI panel was.
I relate to Marlo in this situation.
Kandi is going lingerie shopping with Shamari because shes launching a new project.
This maybe isnt one to reclaim, Kandi.
Its weird all around.
The last big emotional thread of the episode is Porsha.
Porsha is just adrift in a sea of her own pregnancy feelings.
She heads to a therapist to sort everything out.
THIS WAS A WORD.
I relate to Porsha in this situation.
And now … theres a baby.
And now that theres a baby and Hot Dog King, Porsha could easily forget who she is.
Oh, dear Porsha.
Because any insecurities or question marks in an unstable relationship will be enough to knock the whole thing off.
Oh, dear sweet Porsha.
You did something that made someone uncomfortable or upset.
Just own up to it.
Giving a list of excuses about why what you did wasnt that bad isnt going to cut it.
This definitely seems like the secure foundation a relationship is going to be built on.
Better leave the country for a week to really lock in the relationship progress!
