The Real Housewives of Atlanta
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Kenya Moore Daly is a woman who does not live on our plane of reality.
Shes a plane-walker who slips effortlessly between her reality and our own.
She brings with her shreds of a reality we cant see.
Because even in theReal HousewivesCinematic Universe, this is a bit much.
Thats unreasonable even for a fundamentally unreasonable woman.
But lets all be honest we need it.
Wecraaaaaaaaaaveexactly what Kenya brings to the table: unstable, unmitigated gall.
Shes gotta have something with the other Housewives and something on her own.
Shes got her feud with Cynthia … and thats it.
And worst of all, her feud with Cynthia happened offscreen between seasons.
What are we supposed to do with that?
Im gonna need NeNe to reveal that shes Banksy if she expects to keep that peach.
Lets get to it.
Just some of the scene setups alone gave me a giggle.
Porsha and Tanya going for electro-sculpting.
Cynthia shopping for an ax.
Yovanna attempting to be relevant.
Porsha and Tanya are hanging out so Porsha can accelerate her post-baby recovery.
They cut all the way through her muscles and shit to get a baby out of her!
Porshas weird screams while shes getting this done are very hilarious.
She just wants to ensure her wig looks right.
The social event of the episode is Marlos wig launch, and shes sent a group text toeveryoneinviting them.
Kenya might not go because … well, shes Kenya.
She runs back in wearing half Carnival gear!
Theyre going to Toronto!
Porsha says if she cant get to the Caribbean with Rihanna, shell take Tanya.
They both twerk in thisfauxdoctors office.
There are two weeks till the trip!
Up next are Kandi and Todd.
WHAT IS THIS MAN DOING?
Can he just NOT?
Is everyone in their household a mumble talker?
Todd says hes just trying to make her tough and he was raised the same way.
Just admit that youre out of touch with your own feelings and go.
Hes about to be popping bottles on a Tuesday and Wednesday while youre at home with a 2-day-old baby.
You have no idea.
But shes mostly trying to drum up support for her anti-Cynthia campaign, and shes got evidence.
Someone (YOVANNA, CLEARLY YOVANNA) recorded Cynthia talking shit about NeNe.
What more evidence does anyone need?
Cynthia has been doing radio interviews calling NeNe toxic.
Does Cynthia admit to being the Ukraine whistle-blower on the tapes?
Kandi lets Cynthia and Kenya know that NeNes got receipts and no one seems that concerned.
Cynthia pegs Marlo and YOVANNA as the two best suspects and just laughs it off.
This is not looking good for NeNe.
Its time for the wig event.
Look at this unorganized weird-ass event.
Theres a flower wall with heads sticking out of it.
Marlo is wearing one bejeweled slide and shes literally leaning on her niece and nephew for support.
She also refuses to put down the microphone when shes haranguing Kenya.
Shes saying everything into the microphone and shes still yelling.
There is a very boring wig-styling contest.
So when Kenya comes marching in, shes really knocking down a house of cards.
NeNe decides that shes not sticking around for when things get ugly.
Yovanna chases after NeNe in the most hopeless attempt for screen time.
She runs out after NeNes car and nearly jumps through the window to get her to stay.
Kenya says that her intrusion is just a stroke of marketing genius.
Kenya is delusional and a monster and shes perfect.
Porsha laughs so hard its just screams and then falls on the floor.
In this moment, I am Porsha.
As Kenya drives away with her cousin, we hear her say, Im a businesswoman.
Im a business, woman.
Shes a terrorist and I love it.
