The Real Housewives of Atlanta
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This is the last gasp of a truly desperate and utterly phony woman.
In the words of Eva, Why am I seeing your titty?
Yovanna would murder the last endangered penguin to prolong her screen time.
Lets get to it.
But first, we have to deal with thisDennis re-proposing thing.
Here we go: Dennis re-proposed.
Heres my problem with SnakeGate: iIt doesnt involve everyone.
Except Tanya shes too busy banging Paul and living her best life.
Never change but also immediately change.
Then NeNe walks in with herentire tittyhanging out.
How do you not notice your entire titty hanging out?
My titties are like a cats whiskers, if they cant fit through a door, neither can I.
She tries to mitigate the whole thing by saying shes got nipple covers on.
Yovanna tries to take control of the situation by saying that the real enemy is here is fake friends.
Yes, but also no, because thats what being a snake is!
Snakes are notoriously bad friends!
All the other animals know it!
Yovanna also insists she had no part in SnakeGate but the other women forced her into it.
My new conspiracy theory is that no one recorded Cynthia.
There isnt a recording.
Why do I think this?
Because NeNe tries to convince Cynthia that there is a difference between recording and audio.
Cynthia snaps and its beautiful and scary and inspiring.
She tells Marlo that she knew her ass hadnt changed.
There isnt a person whos met Marlo that isnt 12 seconds away from telling her to be quiet.
She asks NeNe point-blank who has the recording and NeNe says shes no snitch.
Thats not right, but shes not incorrect.
So of course, this becomes Porshas war.
Cynthia runs out in the kerfuffle and Marlo calls after her, You bald-headed scallywag.
Shes a mercenary who hasnt been paid but shows up anyway.
NeNe, these are not equivalent things.
She will continue to be That Bitch.
She tries to launch her body and her titties over the crowd to get at Kenya.
There is a look of pure hostility in her eyes, but its so cold.
This is … kinda scary.
That life coach is worthless.
Everyone clears out after NeNe chases everyone around the hallway.
The next morning, NeNe tries to do some damage control with Tanya and fails.
Theres no way to spin what happened and Yovanna has already been dismissed from the trip.
Its time for Carnival, when this episode swings wildly from an angry nightmare to a colorful dreamscape.
Porsha has a flask of Henny and Henny-thing can happen!
and we get to see that, at Carnival, Tanya is That Bitch.
After Carnival, its time for a final dinner in Toronto.
Instead of leaving any goodwill intact, Marlo goes after Kenya for wearing a wig to dinner.
Tanya says she doesnt consider her partner hitting on someone cheating.
So, again, leave Tanya alone.
