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John Mulaneythinks about music a lot.
His dead-on parodies ofLes Miserables,Stephen Sondheim, andSteely Dancould only have come from a longtime fan.
He hits every beat just right.
Listen to it now.
Someone asked Mel Brooks the difference between tragedy and comedy.
He reportedly said, Tragedy is when I cut my finger.
Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
Mulaney knows his memory of diner misery has the potential to satisfy the comedy fans appetite for voyeuristic sadism.
Whether it is a light snack or a hearty meal will depend on his execution.
The importance of rhythm to Mulaney is evident from the start of this bit.
When he first mentions the diners name, a woman in the audience interrupts.
For Mulaney, cadence is as important as content.
I hate to remind anyone of grade-school music class.
Even so, understanding meter how musicians divide time into beats is key to appreciating Mulaneys performance.
Its a wonderful family restaurant in Chicago, he begins, at a relaxed pace.
He hits the punch line faster.
Which means that it caters mainly to teenagers and homeless schizophrenics.
Mulaney enters the diner with his friend, who is also named John.
He addresses the coincidence with a one-liner and moves on to the meat of the story.
John and John program the same Tom Jones song Whats New Pussycat?
into the jukebox 21 times.
They order their food and wait for their mischief to bear fruit.
Mulaney breaks down the situation for the audience: Heres the thing about when Whats New Pussycat?
plays over and over and over and over andoveragain …
The audience knows there are 21 plays of Whats New Pussycat?
in the jukebox, but the people in the diner have no idea.
Mulaney describes the reactions the patrons have the first few times the song repeats.
He begins each reaction with an exclamation like Hey!
Conventional comedy wisdom says these are needless extra words.
No one leaves a comedy club thinking,I wish the setups were longer.
For Mulaney, they are anything but superfluous.
They act like a drummers cymbal crash.
Questlove bashing his cymbal focuses attention on the music that follows, and Mulaneys Whoa!
tells the audience,Listen up, this next part is important.
He pauses the story right before it happens.
… Like he just got his 30-day chip from anger management.
This man is now a stand-in for the reaction of the entire restaurant.
Mulaney prolongs the moment as long as he can before giving the audience their release.
The fourth play fades out, he says.
He pauses for four seconds.
Almost cruelly, he slows down even further.
And then I dont know if you know this but the song beginsvery subtly.
From absolute silence, Mulaney blurts Bwaaaa-bwamp!
Mulaney gives the audience a mere three seconds to applaud and picks right back up again.
But a word about my friend John, and what a genius he was.
So far, Mulaney has paused his story, slowed it down, and zoomed in for detail.
And that is when the afternoon went from good to great.
Afterseven!Whats New Pussycats!
Its Not Unusual comes on.
Mulaney describes thesighofreliefthat swept through the diner, giving each word equal duration and punch.
The audience bursts into joyous applause.
This time, he lets them finish their laugh, breathe, and relax.
Whats coming next deserves its own beat.
In low, ominous tones, Mulaney interjects, And on the other hand, when we went back …
He is on the verge of revealing what happened when Whats New Pussycat?
played once more, but he never finishes the sentence.
It doesnt make much sense.
In musical notation, a note you dont play is still a note.
Its called a rest, and you write it right there on the page.
Mulaney rests for three seconds before exclaiming, Holy shit!
He gets a big laugh and the audiences undivided attention.
Six more seconds go by.
Every instinct in a comedians body screams that silence is dangerous.
The crowd might lose interest, get bored, or heckle.
Mulaney holds his ground.
He knows this is right.
The audience giggles in nervous anticipation.
Its dead quiet, he says.
He waits until the room is as soundless as the diner in the story before belting out Bwaaaa-bwamp!
and then, with equal, machine-tool-precise emphasis on each syllable, he says, People went fucking insane.
The audience does, too.
Andthatwas the best meal Ive ever had!
Mulaney concludes his story with the same words he began it with, like the Beatles reprise of Sgt.
Pepper on Side Two.
The audience is clapping by the wordthat.
They know they witnessed something special.
After 25 seconds, they are still applauding as the track fades out.
The Salt and Pepper Diner is a story about the power of music to shape peoples emotions.
Mulaney demonstrates the power he describes.
They can make you feel every moment like its happening to you, with only their voice.
Simply talking wont cut it.
When this is done at the highest level, you get The Salt and Pepper Diner.
