The Great
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Tina Fey
You really cant escape a rumor like this.
Its so, so good.
We say, Catherine the GREAT had sex with a horse.
She reigned for decades!
She made Russia into a world power!
I was 98 percent sure it was not true, but it was still my favorite thing about her.
Its more like, wow, Catherine the Great really did some things in her life, huh.
For the record: This did not happen.
Catherine the Great never fucked a horse.
I know thats not as FUN, but she did lots of other fun, weird things.
That being said, the horse rumor will probably never die.
So lets talk more about it!
InThe Great, this rumor is spread by the ladies at court.
Catherine: How does one even fuck a horse?
Marial: I cant explain it, but I could draw it.
Way harsh, Tai.
Catherine goes to see Leo and cry on his shoulder.
Leo is very good at being cried on.
Almost … suspiciously good.
He says to cry is very Russian.
I have three semesters of stoic Russian TAs in college to prove you wrong, sir, but okay.
We should talk about the patriarch.
Its highest-ranking bishop is the patriarch.
Theres no one above the patriarch.
Which brings us to this episode: The patriarch is dead and they have to pick a new one.
He would tell her I did, but he used to wink at me when he said it.
Which leads us to Archie eating mushrooms and running into Catherine in a park.
He thinks shes an angel and she tells him he should pick himself.
And so it comes to pass.
He asks Archie to look into his eyes and tell him what he sees.
Archie says that he sees the soul of a king and boom, we have our new patriarch.
Thats how you do it.
