The Bachelor Presents: Listen to Your Heart
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Not this United States, thats for sure.
And then theres the whole judging criteria CHEMISTRY?!?!
Your eyes … not so much.
Bri got criticized forfacing the audience?Are you fucking kidding me?
In what universe is you played to your audience a bad critique for a performer?
Okay, so thats ONE.
Thats the generous estimate.
These are strangers, and were supposed to decipher if their banging would be good.
I dont think I had ever heard Danny speak before, but Im supposed to know his love language.
Just look at Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper.
This is something that any savvy person could figure out.
Plus, all the examples of chemistry were just eye contact!
Everyone should take the note and just make prolonged eye contact until Kesha praises them.
She should be handing out the final roses or something.
We can really speed through most of the beginning of the episode because its mostly nonsensical.
Chris Harrison shows up to inform everyone that its about the music, but love comes first.
And everything will change.
There will be no more new arrivals, but there will be a series of new rules and challenges.
First challenge, everyone has to decide if theyre here for the right reasons and really committed to love.
This is usually the last thing that happens in the Bachelor Cinematic Universe.
You cant just rearrange the tropes and expect everything to be coherent.
This is the single thing that will completely and utterly destroy Julia and her sanity.
Gabe takes this opportunity to appear for the first time on-camera and tell Savannah his feelings.
This ends poorly, and both Gabe and Ruby go home.
Shes bereft, and were eight minutes into the episode.
So things are not so good right now?
If youre a woman in America, those are your romantic options.
There are a few narratives going into this final performance.
Jamie is having a panic attack in the grass.
Bri and Chris are very confident in their relationship.
Julia wants to show exactly how into Sheridan she is by genuinely performing chemistry.
No one knows who Bekah and Danny are.
The only bizarre twist is Natascha and Ryan turning Stay, by Rihanna, into a white-guy reggae song.
The judges get to deliberate, and we get none of that footage.
Time for the rose ceremony.
Everyone gets a rose except Bekah and Danny, and they are sent home in twin SUVs.
