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(As the film notes, Simmons admitted to some improprieties but denies all of these accusations.)
She resisted that advance, but then he started repeatedly harassing her in her office.
He would come in and lock the door, she recounts.
I thought he was like this tragic ADD puppy dog that I just had to keep retraining.
When she went in to retrieve it, the assault began.
The next thing I know, he is naked, wearing a condom, and he just grabbed me.
I was reduced to nothing in that moment, she says.
I was trash […] I was some physical thing he utilized for his pleasure.
Dixon left the music business soon after.
Get off of me, she recalls.
It happened so fast.
He had his pants down and he just took, took, took what he wanted.
I think hed gone to take a shower.
I kept saying, No, no, no.
I kept thinking,My boyfriend, my boyfriend, my boyfriend.
And then he raped me and I couldnt fight.
I couldnt do anything.
I just lay there.
That anybody could so swiftly and forcibly penetrate me, while, actually while Im saying no … And he carried it with him for three fucking decades.
I felt safe with him, she says.
He pushed me into the door, in through the door, and pushed me down on the ground.
He wanted to physically dominate me and rape me.
I kicked really, really hard and I fucking screamed.
And I just ran to the door and he, like, let me go.
I was absolutely shocked and taken aback and I froze, she says.
That No, no, no, this isnt happening.
She says she bonded with Simmons over yoga and spirituality, topics hes written inspirational books about.
He puts his knees on my legs and pins my hands down, she says.
I pushed him off of me and I was like, What the fuck are you doing?
What the fuck is wrong with you?
It was just so out of left field, she says.
I remember being shocked to the point where I thought it was a joke.
I remember fighting it, fighting on the bed, because I didnt want his penis in me.
I had to do some dark nights of the soul to work through this layer of shame.
- An earlier version of this article misspelled the last name of Sil Lai Abrams.
Vulture regrets the error.
