Summer House
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Rivers belong where they can ramble.
Eaglesbelong where they can fly.
Lindsay Hubbard belongs where she can get into senseless fights with people for no apparent reason.
Before Carl and Lindsay can even go on that date, he has to ask her out.
But later that evening, theyre not too worried about the formalities of dating.
Carl tells his bro Kyle all about the hookup when the two convene at the Loverboy bottling factory.
Kyle is aware that Carl is an awful salesperson.
Well, based on his ability to sell himself to the ladies, maybe he is a great salesperson.
Kyle says if Carl is really energized about something, there is no one better.
It feels like merely some cheese, drinks, and a few fairy lights.
This is less of a surprise and what most of us would consider adequate preparation.
In this game, people just … ask questions.
Its like a date, but they ask about sex positions.
So its exactly like a date or an episode ofLove IslandpreCasa Amour.
(If you dont understand that sentence, just startwatchingLove Island,already.)
You dont develop commitment issues over the course of a few summers because your parents divorced.
But that is what you get when you decide to date Lindsay Hubbard.
(Remember her conflagrations with her ex Everett?)
That is also what you get when you decide to date Carl Radke.
Were in for some interesting couple dynamics from several groups in the house.
The other pairing this season seems to be Paige and sleeves that arent attached to an actual shirt.
What is Paiges problem with sleeves?
Things are also heating up for Hannah and Luke.
After their first pool party, Hannah tells Luke hes wasting his time and has no chance.
Is it like the stain on Paiges bikini top?
No one will bring it up because theyre afraid theyre going to embarrass the bearer?
Thats because theres a bacterial infection in the hot tub, which is usually where they are the closest.
That is not the tingling of love.
That is the tingling of microbes slowly consuming your lady parts and should really be addressed by a doctor.
Finally, we are left with our once-and-forever pair, Kyle and Amanda.
Kyle says if they are intimate at least that can paper over some of the other issues going on.
Or, as he sees it, at least hes getting something for all the hassle.
She can burst through the door and run.
