Southern Charm
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You know what, ladies and (homosexual) gentlemen?
Its December of 2020 and I am tired.
As far as the coronavirus goes, production shut down for almost three months between March and June.
Madison stayed home and baked bread with her son, Hudson.
Pringle took his hot dad bod to San Diego to quarantine with his kids.
(I made that up, butimagine.)
Kathryn, well, she holed up in her house in a racist maelstrom of her own making.
But were coming to that.
They both talk about one thing: how you cant tell the difference between Madisons mother and sister.
Seriously, they look the same and about the same age.
Turns out Maddy is ten years younger than her sister, so that explains some of it.
What theyre really talking about is the deterioration of Madison and Austens romance.
Austen, pour that beer into the cans yourself!
I thought you loved cans?
Didnt Madison catch you with two sets of cans last year?
Austen is mad she isnt defending him, but she is speaking total sense.
This woman has a kid, a business, and a life.
If Austen isnt serious he needs to get the hell out.
Were supposed to be talking about coronavirus though, right?
Theres a tense Zoom with Madison.
Like its a meeting.
Did this thing have a Google Calendar notice?
Did they Slack each other afterward?
Did anyone promise to circle back offline?)
Madison is understandably pissed.
She thinks that Austen not taking things seriously has endangered her and her son.
How fucking selfish, she tells him.
Ive had my salon closed for months and I just reopened and now its ruined.
I could have gotten it from you for all I know.
Youve been at your salon.
Oh no, Austen.
That is not only the wrong bark and the wrong tree but the entirely wrong forest.
Madison seems sensible enough to take precautions at her salon.
Also, the salon iswork.
Going to the bar with Craig, while it may fulfill Austen sexually, is not work.
Well, at least not if the cameras arent there.
Its one thing to catch COVID when youre trying to do your job within mandated guidelines.
Madison hangs up on Austen and hes like, Oh, great.
My first thought was that logging off of a Zoom call is awkward enough.
Youre like, Okay.
She then sent a Black woman the monkey emoji.
I mean, how did she not know this?
As Leva says, You have to be really conveniently ignorant to not know the monkey emoji was inappropriate.
Calhoun is an ancestor of Kathryns and she bears his surname as her middle name.
Both of these things come to a head at a demonstration at the memorial.
of Gwynns, and Megan and Venita, two of Levas other friends of color.
Kathryn, of course, would say that was a joke, but it really isnt a funny one.
Its not really much of a joke because we all know that deep down somewhere she really means it.
Kathryn could come back from this.
She could be learning why that monkey emoji is bad and why she shouldnt be using it.
She could be doing the work to be a better person.
Apparently Im racist, she says with a dismissive sigh.
Who is at this demonstration?
Why wasnt Shep there?
I think I know the answer and you probably do too.
Then Im reminded of Roseanne.
She got fired off a show with her name on it that was a huge hit.
You cant haveRoseannewithout Roseanne, right?
Well, ABC decided they could and sacked her.
Meanwhile Kathryn still has a job.Southern Charmis still on the air.
Why cant we make Venita full-time?
