Riverdale
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You know, in a fun, dark-sexy-cool CW way!
Does anybody have Ally Sheedys agents number?
Predictably, the Archiedor Retriever bounds over, tongue lolling gregariously out of his mouth.
But what Elios really asking is for him to take a dive.
Tom Keller refuses to coach him unless he bails; Archies sort-of-maybe potential new girlfriend Josie is equally unenthused.
Hiram is suspicious about the drug-making equipment that apparentlyvanished into thin airfrom the prison.
And kinda weird howGladys Jonesjust showed up back in town, huh,mija?
Why not focus on the prison instead?
Who wouldnt be charmed by some wholesome, mom-and-pop, for-profit private incarceration?
Hiram would prefer to seize control of the currently leaderless Ghoulies, but cute idea, honey.
In fact, the young Serpent King even convinces Sheriff Dad to offer them immunity from the law.
Jughead learns that most of the remaining Ghoulies have joined up with the Gargoyles.
(This week,Riverdales proprietary Random Classic Movie Reference Generator has settled onApocalypse Now.)
Im paraphrasing, but you get the idea.
This isnt the only personnel problem plaguing the Serpents.
Jug tries to convince Toni to take her talentsback to the Southside.
Its no use: She wants to be Serpent Queen, but that role belongs to Betty.
(Does Bettyreallycare, though?
Cant she be, like, Serpent Royal Consort?)
Not yet, anyway.
If nothing else, this scene is an extremely good showcase for KJ Apas abs.
Thats my first pass.)
Then he and Josie do sex, so congratulations to them.
Boy, that sounds familiar!
Martha made her escape after her own sister drowned during her baptism.
The vibe at Alices baptism at the Sisters of Quiet Mercy is like aPhantom of the Opera-themed baby shower.
Polly holds Alice down in a tub of water, continuing to keep her submerged even as she struggles.
By the time Betty bursts in and pulls Alice to safety, she isnt breathing.
But this experience hasnt done anything to sour her on the Farm.
Theres no longer any denying they were up tosomethingbehind his back.
To protect her mother, Veronica cops to burning all of Hirams drugs and equipment herself.
And so Ronnie finds herself another $75,000 in debt, this time to her father.
I hope to God her FAFSA will somehow take this into account.
