Save this article to read it later.
Find this story in your accountsSaved for Latersection.
InSpider-Man: Far From Home, 16-year-old Peter Parker has planned quite the Hot Girl SummerTM for himself.
I respect Peter Parkers summer!
Fix it, Iyanla Vanzant!
Im not Kamala Harris; obviouslythat little girl wasnt me.
This little girls name was Lizzie McGuire!
Lizzie McGuire wore an inflatable igloo dress.
Lizzie McGuire defeated her younger, idiot brother, and she befriended the mean girl in her middle school.
Peter Parker had to put on one little Spider-Man suit to see through like five of Jake Gyllenhaals lies.
I dont know if you know this about teenage boys, but all theydois lie.
Im speaking from experience.
If Paolos mouth is moving, hes lying!)
Quentin Beck is sly, hes fussy, hed probably watchPhantom Threadand feel very seen!
She speaks with a microphone at all times.
She tells parents to shut up.
I dont remember one line of dialogue from Quentin Beck said inFar From Home.
But Ms. Ungermeyer calling Gordo a sneaky little brownnoser with a hidden agenda?
So perfect a line ought to be inscribed in the skies.
I believe that Peter Parker thinks he has the summer of his dreams.
I believe he thinks he has the summer of anyones dreams.
All of this is to say: Peter Parkers summer Euro trip was okay, I guess.
But it certainly wasntwhat dreams are made of.
