Save this article to read it later.
Find this story in your accountsSaved for Latersection.
When I first heardMy Dad Wrote a Porno, it struck a deep chord.
Sort of.This is crazy.
I cant wait to talk to you about this.
My Irish granddad wrote porn.
Well, more like a hybrid of fantasy and erotica.
Penguin, which published his bookAstra and Flondrixin the 70s, described it as erotic Tolkien.
Essentially, he wrote about sex between elves, fairies, and the like.Interesting.
Did he use Tolkiens universe?
No, he created his own.
One which I really struggle to explain.
Theres a sort of elf prince who thinks hes a eunuch.
Hes going along, thinking I dont have one of those.
Until he discovers no, he actually hastwo dicks.
And he finds a female who also has a double input, as it were.
The future of the world depends on their union.
Quite a bizarre story.Have you read it all?
You know, Ive never been able to finish it.
Thats why Im impressed with your resolve in reading your dads work.
It wasnt until I was older that I realized what kind of books he had written.
[Thebook jacketdepicts aBosch-likeforest of phallic, ejaculating trees].Oh my God.
You know exactly what youre getting from the front cover.
Was that his real name, Seamus Cullen?
No, thats a pen name.Everyone hides behind their porn.
Own it, guys.
You know, I get it.
With Seamus, hed been using the name already, before writing anything too porn-y.But lets talk Rocky.
I could imagine he might write something or be creative in some way.
But I never thoughtthiswould happen.
You look at your parents as asexual in a way, dont you?
It came out of complete left field.
Im impressed he actually sat down and did it.
It didnt fit your idea of who your father was.No.
Thats whats crazy that he had the discipline to actually do it and write so many volumes.
This is clearly something he really enjoyed.
I mean, my God, hes still writing loads all the time.
Im like, Dad.
He never thought anyone would read his books.
When you put something on Amazon thats self-published, you know the odds of anyone finding it are slim.
Its likeBelinda BlinkedandThe Martian[that have sold], thats it.
And50 Shades, I guess.
I can do that.
And he cant, clearly.
But he had a crack, anyway.
Like the guy fromSilicon Valley.Thomas Middleditch.
His interpretation was mental.
I never thought dads writing would offer up so many ideas.Rachel Bloomwas another.
She thinks its set in the future, and its this parallel universe.
Im like, Youre giving him way too much credit.
He just sat drunk at his keyboard and started writing.
But, yet, he created this universe.He has created a world people are genuinely invested in.
[The podcast] started out as this joke: These books are about nothing, and who cares.
And, suddenly, everyone was really invested.
They sincerely want to know what happens to these characters.
They come [to live readings] dressed up as them, and do fan art.
Its been interesting to see whos caught on to it.
She left this message: Loved your show.
They came to our show at Royal Albert Hall.
She met my dad, which was amazing.
Is your dad at all of the shows?He comes to big ones like Royal Albert Hall.
Youve managed to keep his identity secret.
Or as secret as it can be, considering hes your father.
You have so many tabloids in Britain.
And the Belinkers are so dedicated.
Has no one tried unmasking him?Everyones been really respectful.
Which we all respected.
Theres so much affection for dad.
Thats been the nicest thing.
They dont want to ruin the enigma of Rocky.
Theres something about him being anonymous that adds to it.
If he came out of the woodwork, a bit of the magic might go.
Though he does live up to every expectation.
He lives in Brazil part of the year.
Of course he does!My parents are great adventurers, always traveling.
Seems like a good place to be if youre trying to write erotica.Very inspiring, yeah.
That is an achievement in itself.
Im sure this is kind of sexy [tapsAstra and Flondrix].
I think it was popular with college students.
Its kind of a dusty, thrift store find.
TheGame of Thronesthing has brought more interest to this sort of thing, so its popping back up.
At the time Grandpa put sex into fantasy, I dont know if anyone else had done that before.
Well that would be going entirely too far.
Its not a very pleasurable read.
But I dont thinkAstra and Flondrixcomes off as lovable asBelinda Blinked.Thats the paradox.
Hes writing these terrible books, but the charm is theyre so bad.
He genuinely thinks they are good.
Im gonna take a crack at erotica and be awful at it.
But yet kind of be brilliant at the same time.
Theres a character named Hank Skank.
And its not a nickname.
Things likecomparing [nipples] to the rivets on the Titanic.
Thats something I know dad thinks is a great metaphor.
He was a builder so hes got a weird view of rivets.
Those are things I love because I feel thats borne out of him genuinelytrying.
He cant be serious with that, can he?I think thats serious.
The point of erotica is to get people off.
And thats where he just misses constantly, which is hilarious.
My mother said to me: Now I know he couldnt possibly have had an affair.
The man writing this couldnt possibly.
What did you do differently for the special?
Obviously there had to be some pre-production.This chapter is what we [read] on our live tour.
So wed done it a few times by the time we did it on tape.
We took it to a small theater in London and did three nights, and just riffed and experimented.
Alices presentation came out of that.
And getting people up on stage happened there as well to bring it alive a little.
Have you done different lost chapters live?No, just this one.
Every time dad travels abroad, or on a plane actually, he emails me everything hes ever written.
And says: In case the plane goes down, here is all my work.
So Ive got a bank of stuff hes sent over the years.
I havent looked at it.
But theres a worrying amount of material.
And hes still writing now.
WillMDWAPcontinue to follow his literary journey?Were starting season five soon.
We decide then and there.
Are we still having fun?
I really enjoy it.
Its come to mean quite a lot to people, which has been lovely.
Im sure well keep doing it in some form.
I think its gonna be in our lives forever.
Im waiting for that day where we go Oh, we cant do it anymore, hes too good.
Emma Thompson compared his style to the plot from the movieThe Fly.
If you took pure smut, and a sales manual …And just merged the two together!
You dont need to know what chapter goes where.
Where is the conversation about theBelindamovie right now?
Theres a great cast there already.
I know everyones joking, but I really think some of them would genuinely do it.
I think so, too.
The thing is:What would it be?
Nothing yet has felt like the right way to do it.
[With a movie] youd have to confront that this is actually porn, and kind of weird.
Whereas when youre just listening, it feels more innocent.
Youve been able to share some interesting stories that have come out of the podcast.
He gave me a copy of his book, and said This has given me the confidence.
This show has been great for people to go, Ifhecan do it, then so can I.
And it gives people an outlet to share it.
Ive also met someone whose dad wrote an erotic novel.
He wasnt handling it as well as I was.
I was telling him: Youve got to own it.
Suppression is more unhealthy than reading it to the world.
Ive learned so much more about my dad.
And not just in a sexual way.
Ive learned hes a creative person.
I never knew he had those urges to tell stories.
Theres something great about trying to understand who your parents are beyond just being parents.
Youd be surprised what conversations it opens up.
You grew up thinking he was just a builder.You realize how many sacrifices your parents make.
Im one of four kids.
He had so many obligations that maybe stopped him from pursuing a creative life.
Thats been really interesting to talk about.
Hes got this whole new life, and career, and people love him.
Theres so much affection for him.
We always wanted the show to be a friendly ribbing, never mean or shaming.
Its lovely that the people who listen come with that perspective as well.
So its been all positive?I have to say, it might change with the HBO show.
Its gonna have a bigger audience, I guess.
We have people come up to us and be really open about their sex lives.
We never thought wed be having these conversations.
I noticed proceeds from your shows go to a mental health fund.That was dads idea.
He was researching charities.
I thought it was a wonderful idea.
Its hard to talk about.
Its a lovely corner of the internet where everyone has each others back.
Im proud of our listeners for that.
Thats not us, its them.
This interview has been edited and condensed.
