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Today, they crown a new champion.
In club soccer, few achievements are more glorious than the domestic double.
Winning a league title and a cup competition in the same season requires chasing two honors at once.
Star players are fatigued and injured.
Rosters are stretched thin.
Youngsters are pressed into service.
But should the stars align, the club will provide memories to last a lifetime.
English youth football coachShamus Beaglehole does not appear to have ever won a major trophy on the pitch.
But in 2014, he scooped up a different kind of double.
He bested 63 other spectacularly named individuals to capture the popular vote in the Name of the Year Tournament.
His rarified company: Vanilla Dong (2007), Taco B.M.
Monster (2011), and this years resounding champion,Mathdaniel Squirrel.
Squirrelfirst made headlinesin January 2019 after his arrest in connection with two carjackings in East Topeka, Kansas.
The committee made Mathdaniel Squirrel the No.
It is thoughtful, creative, and downright absurd, all at once.
Squirrel started his tournament run with easy win oversoccer refKermit Quisenberry.
Then he rock n rolled pastlibrarianHannah Moody-Goo, demystifiedwide receiverMystikal McGhee, and hacked throughDr.
Reason Machete,who is a mathematician.
In the Final Four, Squirreljust said notoonetime college quarterbackKokain Mothershed.
His opponent in our championship final wasanother ex-footballer,Courvoisier Dingle, who rose from a lowly No.
Squirrelsblowout victorycemented him as the peoples choice.
But what about the High Committee?
Our results often tell a different story.
Last year, the popular vote went toState Department employeePope Thrower.
Our little electoral college choseformer Miss HoustonJizyah Shorts.
This year, there was no dissent.
Squirrel ran away with our voting, too, capturing seven of 13 first-place votes.
Beanbag Amerika placed second,college football coachMickey Mentalfinished third, and Kokain Mothershed was fourth.
Dingle tied for fifth withCuracaoan soccer playerJimbertson Vapor.
Highbrow and lowbrow, rhythmic and exaggerated, biblical and rodential: Mathdaniel Squirrel is everyones champion.
If you spot a potential winning name for 2021,send it our way.
