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Earlier this March,Kehlaniwas scheduled to meet with her record label.
There was a plan to open on Justin BiebersChangestour, along with a number of dreamy solo dates.
It would have to be postponed.
I was casting actors and actresses.
Today happens to be the original release date.
They were like, We just dont think you should [release it], she says.
And then I went in my room and made the Toxic video on my laptop.
She posted it on YouTube at the end of March.
People fucked with it, she adds.
And I was like,All right, challenge fucking accepted.
Her garage has been converted into a twofer studio, one side for music,the other for visuals.
Kehlani has been a professional musician since she was 13.
It also feels like a transition record, a bridge from adolescence to adulthood.
Throughout her career, Kehlani has been seen as the homegirl of R&B: sexy but tomboyish.
In her old music, she played with both sides of the binary.
On the new record, shes outgrown it.
She made it immediately after giving birth to her now-one-year-old daughter, Adeya.
People would always be like,Kehlani is adorableor, like,Kehlani is hella cool.
(She wanted Bieber on a track for her album, but he declined.
Because hes a super-married guy now it didnt really fit, she tells me.
It mightve been a little too nasty for the Biebs, but hes supercool.)
Its the jot down of headline-inducing personal drama that has made Kehlani blog-famous.
She writes songs addressing it all openly.
Her fans grow with her journey because she is transparent, sometimes to a fault.
Im a human-ass person.
I be fucking up in front of the entireworld.
(Its clear Im not cool enough, Lennox tweeted after her loss.
Not trendy enough and I dont care to be.)
This February, the rapper Young M.A went further,claimingthat we barely have R&B.
Her music sounds new not like a carbon copy of a Brandy song but the influence is palpable.
R&B is simple lyrics with great singing.
Lots of harmonies and stacks and melodic production, she says, like its easy.
Im never gonna be able to make 90s R&B music.
Thats not when I was experiencing things that shaped my lyrics and my sound.
Kehlani was born in Oakland and raised by her aunt.
The relentless bullying online pushed her toattempt suicide.
(Irving later acknowledged she had never been unfaithful.
Her label held fast to its deadline, leaving her to make an album from songs she barely recognized.
I didnt connect with any of the music, she says.
I was embarrassed of everything.
It also finds her less moved by adolescent longing and more by the immediacy of adult desires.
The title came from a conversation with a friend about her recent breakup.
That shits life, you know?
Shit is good and then its not.
Her biggest hits are the SEO-friendly gossip blogs that cast an outsize shadow on her music.
Her three-month relationship with YG ended right after theydput out a song together proclaiming their love.
When she returned to our call, her mood was dismayed.
Even though I wrote it.
But why dispute a mischaracterization at all if shes tired of getting caught up in drama?
How can I put this to rest and out of my body?
Because I dont want to carry [them], Kehlani explains.
She fired off the Kamaiyah tweets to let the rapper know she wished her the best.
She is satisfied with the way she de-escalated an unexpected quarrel.
A few years ago, she wouldnt have been so levelheaded.
It took a lot of fucked-up shit to get here, she says.
The death of two friends in three months put a lot into perspective.
There was a plan to have Alijai open for her on the post-Bieber headlining tour.
I just couldnt believe it because [Alijai was] so young, she says.
It was triggering and it was mind-blowing and it was sad and it was heartbreaking.
Im still trying to figure out how best to help assist in carrying on their legacies.
Turning 25, too, was, more than a quarter-life milestone.
It was a horizon she never thought shed see.
I always had a weird thing with being 25 or older, she says.
Its a shock because Im now older than my father got to be.
Its part of what makesIt Was Good Until It Wasntfeel like the album on which she finally grew up.
I wanted to sound 25 on this one, she says.
Styling by: Scot Louie.
Makeup and Hair by: Kehlani.
Assistant by: Sierra Stevens.
