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Clearly she thought about it, telling the interviewer, I only want it to live in the moment.
She continued, I feel like my stand-up is a personal experience.
I want it to be like a wild animal that runs through your backyard.
A flash of movement.
I like the flaws, I like the oddness.
What changed for her toreleaseStage Frightin late 2019?
As she tells it, so, so, so much, both personally and societally.
it’s possible for you to read some excerpts from the transcript or listen to the full episode below.
Tune in toGood Oneevery Tuesday onApple Podcasts,Spotify,Stitcher,Overcast, orwherever you get your podcasts.
I wanted my greatest work to be my romantic relationships.
Im doing the equivalent of partying, even though Im not drunk onstage for the most part.
I just want more.I just wanted more.
I really did not understand the decisions I was making in my career.
What is lobster tank?
What does that mean?
I just have to step up.I wanted to do that.
I have harmony in my own home when Im here by myself.
Let me get real about what I want.
And I dont want anyone to fuck with me while Im doing it.
I dont want it to change.
Will you protect me on it?
I asked my agent if she would ask if I could do a Netflix special.
I was like, I dont want to have to write a statement to anyone.
Ive been doing this for long enough that either theyll let me or they wont.
But I cant tell them what its going to be about,really.
But I wrote a letter that was like, I want to be able to explain myself onstage.
Im here, and Im sure my life will tank again.
We had an all-female crew also, which was a really great vibe.
Its not that hard.
Its just who I am, and also, its what I want.
I want love from stand-up.
And that can sometimes be really gross to admit: I want love.
Because sometimes it smacks of some sort of internal injury.
But also, everybody has an internal injury, and its not bad.
This is what I have to do, and I just have to do it.
Thats how I feel about stand-up.
Maybe Ill just become kind of corny, and it wont be good anymore.
All this time has passed, what if I dont have anything?But I do.
JK, I constantly talk to myself or anyone who will listen.
Ive actually been spending the last year and a half listening to my voice.
But something will come.
I really miss it.
Im also scared of it in the way that they say its just like riding a bike.
Theres also that part where youre like, Yeah, but I dont remember how to ride the bike.
I remember what its like to get skinned knees thats what I remember.
And I dont want to just be like, Yep, Im a good white person.
Im going to read this.
And setting up monthly donations to different organizations to help the black community.
But I still was like,I dontgetit.
Im just missing something.
Which is basically the same thing as being color-blind.
But white people do racist things directly, even though they might have been unconscious or not on purpose.
As Robin DiAngelo says, there is a difference between what you intended and what your impact was.
I was like,This is really clear.
Were acting like a biracial actress doesnt exist.
Its not my thing to take.
you might clearly see that some people dont understand, but it doesnt matter to me.
There was the full support of everyone I work with.
And I am; I still am.
The time is really now to get clear on beliefs.
Its so weird because you dont want to make it about anything but what needs to happen.
You go to the person who got hit by the car, and you help them.
