Raps anti-heroine on the transformative journey to her debut album,Nightmare Vacation.
Save this article to read it later.
Find this story in your accountsSaved for Latersection.
From the outside, it was a career-making year, but behind the scenes, she was lost.
And that shit fucked me up.
They love me for me.
Lyrically, it gives no fucks.
Pushing herself and the barriers of genre,Nightmare Vacationis a monument to her chameleonic power.
Where did the titleNightmare Vacationcome from?
A lot of this project feels like it was made in the future.
Thats what this whole year has been like.
Last year my aunt passed away.
And when my aunt died, it just felt like,damn.
I actually got time to sit and think about what matters to me and my family matters to me.
It was recording at home.
Anytime I record, I go to L.A., I go somewhere else and I kind of run away.
It feels separate.It felt way separate.
It was like a whole other life.
I would be here with my son, dont do no drugs, dont raise my voice.
And I started realizing Im afraid to merge my life together because I know that they dont go together.
And I would never want him to be around that.
So, I just took out all the bad shit.
Most of the album was finished before quarantine.
Bro, we was in the studio for like three days straight, just knocking shit out.
Im probably still adding shit right now.
I dont know, Im never done.
I feel my outfit is complete when Im uncomfortable.
I feel like when youre different its kind of like a defense mechanism to get people to go away.
Theres so many different types of different.
Its just like,Okay, well, she does that.
Like, that weird kid in school with a fucking trench coat.
Are you really gonna ask him what hes into, bro?
And that was one of the reasons why I fuck with [100 gecs] so hard.
We could make crazy shit together because hes not selfish.
They make music because they love it and I love that shit.
I think its the most rock shit Ive seen in a long time.
Like, their hair is bleached blonde; they dont give a fuck and I love that shit.
cuz now you got me in with a bunch of EDM people.
Like Skrillex fucking messaged me and shit.
You became Rico Nasty at 15.
Fast-forward to being really in the industry, and I get into another fight.
Im signed, I got views, I got shows, I got a booking agent.
I got priorities and things that matter and people that dont condone violence.
Not to mention, Im spreading all this positivity and love and girl power.
I dont want to be that punch in of person.
So, I stopped it.
I deaded all that high-school shit.
All that walking around like somebody owe me shit or like,Oh, yeah, Im that bitch.
Everybodys that bitch when you really think about it.
You get labeled as a person whos nice just because they have ulterior motives and shit.
I know ppcocaine calls you one of her biggest inspirations.
How does that feel for you?Oh, man … Its crazy you mentionppcocaine.
I got a package fromFlo Millitoday.
I got a package fromMegan.
Yo, I just …
I love the girls, bro.
I feel like I did something right.
Youre able to see somebody come up out of the dirt.
It makes you feel amazing.
Those women made me feel like that; they made me feel that I could be somebody.
So, I had to make them a part of this album.
With your range, you could really be on everyones album and mixtape.
How do you decide what to invest your time in?Wow.
I wasnt getting a feature.
People was not doing my songs.
Its called Matthew 7:7, Ask and you shall receive.
So, I started asking.
When I got in a room with these people, I stopped being so scary and so shy.
I was nervous as shit.
I get out there [and Im like], I love it.
Because I was myself.Aminewas a lot smoother than that because we already worked together.
It just happened naturally.
Yall niggas better step it up or something cuz they churning out the verses like crazy.
You turned 23 in May, but youve spent your entire adulthood as a professional rapper and a mother.
How old do you feel?Fucking 40.
Did quarantine age you at all?If anything, I feel like it made me feel my age.
Because I started realizing that I still had a lot of learning to do.
What do I do?
We was in the house chillin, playingRoblox, eating candy all day.
What occupied you the most during the first lockdown?My job.
I would have time to go look and I would see just so much shit.
And that whole process was just like really, really fucked up, feeling like your life dont matter.
I was so scared for a while, like I didnt want to go nowhere.
It was corona, but it was likeracism.
I said I wanted to have a room in my house that was pink and green.
I have a room in my house that is pink and green.
Like,Damn, its really working.
Moving forward though, I think Im going to not be so nervous for releases.
But shit, I wonder what the interview will look like when Im like on my eighth album.
Girl, Im scared.
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.
