Lauren Morelli came out writingOrange Is the New Black.
Now shes adapting a queer classic.
Save this article to read it later.
Find this story in your accountsSaved for Latersection.
What are other media gays like?
Morelli first came on to write for Shawna before the whole thing snowballed and she became the showrunner.
Morelli infusesTales of the Citywith her own optimism and wonder around the possibility of queer kinship.
She felt welcomed by the queer community after she had her own very public coming-out.
They got married in 2017.
Do you normally Google people who are going to interview you?I do.
Does it determine whether you say yes or no?Sometimes, but it depends on the conversation.
It was remarkable to me that they held up that way so many decades later.
But its a really white world and male world.
The work we had to do was to double-check it reflects the world I see.
So much of the success of a room is based on people feeling safe.
It can feel really fraught, and theres a lot of ego involved.
If you remove that and you say,You already got the job.
Youre in this room for a reason.
Everything you say is valid,that matters way more than how much experience you have.
Because were all generally smart, thoughtful people.
What was the other one?It was calledBordello.
I was like,Oh thats good; thatll be my brand.
The sex scenes are very sexy onTales.
Was that important?Oh my God.
Im very tired of watching stories about queer people who are suffering.
I think they have a place.
But why dont we get fun, soapy shows?
I remember being frustrated when I was watchingCarolthat the sex scenes were very dramatic.
Transcending judgment and anger.
What if we just accepted each other?
I assumed on some level I wasnt going to be gay enough.
This is my favorite thing about queer people: Were very good at holding space for duality and nuance.
It was just like,Great, come on in.
Is there a lesbian mafia?Not that Im a part of.
They all hang out and they all had like anL Wordcharacter that was based on them.
In many ways Im glad to be outside of it.
I couldnt find anybody who was talking about having this narrative.On the internet.
Like, think about the shit it’s possible for you to find on the internet.
And because I couldnt find it, I thought I was crazy.
And thats so damaging and narrow.
Who I was for the 30 years until I knew I was queer is valid.
Because thats also a real temptation to be like,Oh, everything before was fake or a lie.
My own experience wasnt like I wasnt contending with my gay sexuality its that I wasnt contending with myanythingsexuality.
As women, no one sits you down to be like,Lets talk about pleasure.
There just happen to be activities I enjoy more than having sex.
Boys tend to be socialized in a very different way and encouraged to explore their sexuality.
Everything is through a male gaze and its so centered on male pleasure; women become objects and props.
And its weird because, arent we taught that someone else should never define you?
Youre supposed to be complete by yourself.
And in many ways, Samira does that for me all the time.
Samira makes me think Im a superhero when I wake up.
I carry that through the world with me.
I feel more powerful because of it.
I just didnt know I was desirable in that way.
I had spent a lifetime finding ways to undercut myself.
Youre the quirky best friend.
Youre the bookish intellectual who likes to stay home.
We cast ourselves without even realizing it.
How did it feel to get picked?It still feels really magical.
I was able to believe I belong in groups that I might have thought I didnt belong in.
How did you cast yourself before?Arent we always running from our fifth-grade selves?
She got to school and got made fun of the whole day.
Thats still the thing I fight every day.
I am a real perfectionist and Im also a rule-follower, so I like to check boxes.
I wear more suits for sure.
And it feels more playful to me.
I was real into a polka dot before I came out.
I was like Anthropologie, but with a pair of thick glasses I could hide behind.
Were you like the Zooey Deschanel quirky-girl sketch onSNL?So embarrassing.
Like the amount of sweaters with animals on them.
Im never prouder of myself than when I walk into an Anthropologie now.
Im like,Theres nothing for me here.
Good-bye, woodland box.
Have you always had short hair?Its always been back and forth.
Although I still go in and out of discernibly queer haircuts.
You become invisible to men.
No one catcalls you; no one looks at you.
It feels like being incognito, except to queer women.
I feel like you have a good level of fame.
I have seen people recognize her from behind, like a block behind her in New York.
Shes little, so people think they can touch her and people think shes cute.
It can get a little scary at times and requires some compromises in our life.
Thats sometimes a hard thing to talk about because fame does not engender sympathy in people.
I understand all of those reasons, and I understand the privileges that come with it.
But its certainly a thing we negotiate.
And then you have annoying people like me who are prying into your life.I dont think thats annoying.
Because I had agency in this.
Like, Are you real people?My favorite thing is, Youre so lucky.
People tell you that?Oh, all the time.
Because my wife is so hot.
Yes, thank you.
Thats a weird thing to say to somebody, isnt it?
Did you ever want to explore dating other women before you settled down with Samira?No.
People ask that question a lot: Didnt you want to explore this?
I want a stable home life; I want intimacy.
So I dont feel like I missed out on anything.
What I grieve for is a queer youth.
Like I was falling in love with Samira and it felt really juvenile.
It felt like these giant, big, untamable feelings that I remember feeling when I was 13.
Do you feel like you were living that youth vicariously through your writing?I think so.
Im very aware thatTalesis intentionally crafted to be an escape.
I probably always will be interested in doing that.
What was the most tumultuous time in your life?Well … my dad died a couple years ago.
He had been bipolar, and he killed himself.
I had lost grandparents, but the loss of a parent has redefined so much of my life.
I came out to him, and I thought I might lose him.
He was a conservative, Catholic golfer.
He would say he was a reformed Catholic.
And when I came out to him, he didnt hesitate.
He didnt even take a second to process what was happening.
You dont have to cry.
As long as youre happy, I love you.
Me coming out deepened our relationship in this way that was really remarkable to me.
And he adored Samira, and they adored each other.
Im sorry.[Cries.]
We all survive so much and Im constantly amazed at how resilient we are.
And I dont think you ever really move forward from a trauma like that, but you integrate it.
The show very much feels like a celebration of life.
A thing I really learned from coming out was you have to let people surprise you.
I was surprised by who was supportive.
I was surprised by who wasnt supportive.
And my father was such a good example of that.
Its so much easier to just decide that that person isnt gonna show up for you.
