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This series originally ran in 2019.
We are republishing it asThe Matrix Resurrectionshits theaters and HBO Max.
He would likely be confused by contemporary Christianity, and frightened of cars.
Youd have to teach him English, and explain to him modern inventions like computers, andThe Masked Singer.
hed also loveThe Matrixs Gnosticism.
You take the blue pill and the story ends.
You wake in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe, Morpheus says.
The red pill: gnosis, baby.
Remember all I am offering is the truth, nothing more, Morpheus tells Neo.
What that truth is varies, depending on your red-pill pharmacist of choice.
(Just like Neo, if hed launched a Kickstarter fundraiser to find Morpheus.)
Only through the red pill can you see the world for what itreallyis, and finally!
As with any movement, there are offshoots and schisms and rival sects.
(Important issues like how can I get laid?)
It makes you wonder a bit if the red pill is really enlightenment or just another elaborate falsehood.
But there were dozens of different Gnostic sects and schools in Valentinuss time, too.
And why shouldnt YouTube and Twitter and Facebook be fertile ground for new Gnosticisms?
Here, the more prominent and stranger ones.
Brown Pill
Anti-materialist more concerned with personal enlightenment than with the Illuminati.
White Pill
Ignorant of politics and global conspiracies.
Hates reading and just wants to get laid.
Indigo Pill
Supporter of the Illuminati (or possible member).
Thinks people need to be controlled.
Iron Pill
Into bodybuilding, the neo-Paleo diet, and the alt-right.
Claims to have supernatural powers.
Black Pill
More nihilistic red pill, too dejected to even learn pickup-artist techniques.
