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The first time somebody said that to me, I was 6 years old.
In what world does that make any sense?
Its something that not everybody experiences, but its something that a lot of people I know experience.
I had a lot of experiences of people saying sir.
Then they realized the mistake they made.
And then they laugh at me.
Cause ultimately it is okay because its all arbitrary.
We just made all of this up.
Im not a woman, but Im also notnota woman.
And I am existing in it with a completely different belief system.
I am not saying everyone should operate this way.
The binary can also be very interesting and powerful.
The first part of the joke is when they apologize.
Then they immediately blame you for having your haircut and your clothing and everything about you.
When a human being is scared, that makes sense.
Its a very human reaction; its a very emotionally abusive reaction.
Do I think this woman was purposefully emotionally abusing me?
No, but was she?
Both of those things are true.
And also, everything shes saying is also true.
But you dont need to tell me that cause I already know.
The very tried-and-true lesbian joke of, Oh you look like a … Yeah, I know, dude.
I woke up in the morning and put my clothes on.
But that speaks to that person saying, Well, its your fault because you dress like this.
It also hints at this neutrality of that person, that they arent getting up and making any choices.
And I just dont think I should.
I think that we should all be able to keep our goddamned mouths shut.
And at minimum, you shouldnt be a villain for doing it.No, and Im also not some victim.
Whats interesting now is that I dont correct people when somebody says sir.
It doesnt bother me the same way it used to.
I just leave it for that person and they get to decide what they do with it.
And then they walk away and they process that experience for themselves.
I cant control what they take away from it.
I can only hope that they go, like,Huh.
So the thing I would like to do is just express my humanity to people.
And not be angry all the time.
For all intents and purposes, yes, I am.
Frank Sinatra is such an iconic, like,This is a man.
Thats the whole point.
How can you not like Frank Sinatra?
Youre just talking to me.
What Im leaving the audience with is: What does that even mean?
What he really means is,Youre a great person to talk to.
You like to make complicated issues seem complicated.Because its complicated.
Because we dont live in a time where nuance exists all the time.
As soon as you get one then some new thing comes up.
And Im talking to a bunch of different brains over the course of a lot of time.
I might feel different tomorrow.
You might agree with me now, and then you might change your mind.
We had gay bars, so youd have like a salon, but that was 100 people?
Im talking about endless amounts of people that can experience what Im talking about.
So to have a go at boil it down to one thing would be to always fail.
My intention is not to complicate the matter.
But ultimately, that Lyft bit does.
I not only boil it down to,Fuck yeah I am, I make fun of a movie.
How stand-up shticky is that?
