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But its more than voyeurism.
Theres a functional purpose to the one-and-done format.
The result, when documented, is a concentrated capsule of human drama.
These interjections are central to Perels broader enterprise with the podcast.
(HowsWork, by the way, is released as a Spotify exclusive.)
The expansion is reflective of a societal trend.
Theres a fascinating shift thats happening where the world of emotions has entered the workplace, she observed.
Which is to say, it begins with an system.
If you hunt around, you’re able to find the app online, says Baker.
What is it that brings you to do this?
What is it that you expect from this work, for your life and your relationships?
What are you prepared to do to achieve what you say you want?
Its a strange experience, she says.
These preinterviews usually run for about 45 minutes to an hour.
Couples are screened separately, so that each partner wont be influenced by each others answers.
Unlike the program, these conversations are narratively oriented … and can get pretty emotional.
The pre-interview phase can take a while, as the goal is to push the episodes towards new directions.
I probably go through ten or twelve couples for every one that we end up with, says Baker.
Im trying to get something different that we havent done.
In the family, I think we expect a certain kind of emotional vulnerability, says Perel.
We dont necessarily think about relational matters in the context of work.
Its like pulling teeth.
The language is pretty understandable, says Baker.
But I always offer to go through what it means.
Everybody in the room gets a lavalier microphone (i.e.
Esther loves to have people stand up and walk around the room, Baker says.
We were a little scared about that at the beginning.
That potential hurdle is generally alleviated by Perels room management.
Im used to being watched.
Once we shut the door, we dont go back in, Baker noted.
A session, and the recording process, typically takes about three hours.
Its a fascinating birds eye view, says Baker.
Therell be moments where she thinks she didnt do the right thing.
She does this funny thing where shell tell herself, Shut up, shut up, let them speak.
These tracking sessions often take a few hours.
Im asking myself, What do I want to say if Im teaching this to my students?
Whats really happening in this moment?
Why did I do what I do right there?
She adds, Its [an] amazingly spontaneous act of co-creation.
Step 4: Maintaining Anonymity
This task comes down to a challenge in balance.
Its important, after you finish the edit, to ask, Did I leave this person whole?
Maybe they have 16 kids, and thats a whole other thing.
(Though, certainly, listeners do often want to know what happens.)
The session ends when the session ends, says Perel.
We dont come up with a goal.
I dont venture to make it a nice happy story.
There were people who had an okay session, but it wasnt going to move the needle very much.
Sorry, I wish it could, but it didnt.
We stop pretty much where we recorded.
And theyll say: Do you remember me?
Let me tell you where I am.
