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I dont think Ive ever seen a horror film.

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And neither one, I am delighted to report, was particularly scary.

But Hamill pumps blood right back into those women, changing some characters genders and beefing up womens roles.

The heroine Mina Harker (Kelley Curran) roars too, striking a blow for heavily pregnant women everywhere.

According to medical guidelines, shes not supposed to lift too much.

But what can one wooden stake really weigh?

Something as absurd as thisDraculais only going to work with 100 percent buy-in.

BernayssFrankensteinis much shorter but feels longer, even though it lasts only 80 minutes.

This production does, at least, point your mind in a productive direction.

So while Berrys voice is thunderous, it couldnt keep me in the room.

So thereallyscary play that opened this week was actually Alice BirchsAnatomy of a Suicideat the Atlantic Theater.

InDracula, its because woman is born prey; inFrankenstein,shes born a crime.

Its like that old scary story you heard in grade school the call is coming from inside the house.

Theres not much of a plot, intentionally.

This slowness and sparseness can sometimes feel like its own kind of torture.

Its not pleasant to experience, but it is brutally evocative.

After an hour and 45 minutes, their vision begins to color yours.

What sadist would allow the hell of having a body extend beyond your own flesh?

What masochist would dare endure it?

DraculaandFrankensteinare at Classic Stage Company through March 8.

Anatomy of a Suicideis at the Linda Gross Theater through March 15.