Game of Thrones
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What do we say to the God of Death?
Game of Thronesabandoned itself five minutes into this episode, and I mean that in the best way possible.
Our vaunted hero, Jon Snow, fails.
A dragon is pinned to the ground by a swarm of dead soldiers.
The goddamn trench wont light.
Which made Melisandres return a sort of lukewarm comfort.
(How did she get through the Night Kings army without getting killed, by the way?)
And so with the lighting of the Dothraki swords, we start with a bit of hope.
Except, of course, they do.
Fall back on Winterfell if they have to.
Light up some trenches to keep the wights at bay.
And that oughta do it!
The weird, garbled silence that takes them out turns a battle drama into a monster horror show.
At one point I spotted Briennes platinum pixie and shoutedShes okay!so loudly I woke my sleeping child.
But things break up into a few basic camps.
He seems a goner but makes it through.
Thankfully, he didnt.
Cersei drank herself silly and eventually snuck off with Tommen, prepared to poison them both rather than surrender.
There isnt much for Tyrion and Varysthe brainsto do in the crypts.
It seemed odd at first that Arya was up in the battlements and not out on the field.
She beat Brienne, a trained woman twice her size if not more, in combat.
She once stabbed a pedophilic Gold Cloak in the eye just because she could.
Shelured a man to bedwith nothing but her arrow-throwing skills!
So why wasnt she next to Brienne in the field?
That wasnt what was meant to be.
But even before The Big Moment, Aryas scenes were the best of the episode.
It seemed too simplistic to guess it was the dead.
In this case, the Hound, Arya, and Berics odd little trio did just that.
The battle seems unwinnable.
Everyone is backed into a corner.
The Night King is about to walk into Winterfell with his buddies like they own da club.
I once wonderedwhat the purpose of Beric Dondarrionwas.
Thoros brought him back to life seven times.
The Lord of Light, they kept insisting, had a plan for him.
Brown eyes, blue eyes, green eyes.
Eyes that youll shut forever.
And then, We will meet again.
People will complain about Arya as the assassin who takes down the Night King.
That it should have been ______ or _________ or _________.
Fill in whoever you like.
Only she would think to sneak upJon would have insisted on a manly duel.
There is no honor in her style of murder.
But there is a ton of style in her style of murder.
Her cold eyes staring down that pointy-headed Theon-killer.
Of course, as we guessed,not everyone made it through this gauntlet alive.
Its fitting for this episode to end with the death of the most magic-imbued character.
This might delight the less fantastical among us, but theres a certain sadness to it, too.
The battle for Westeros soul is over.
Now its back to squabbling over an old, uncomfortable chair in Kings Landing.
The switch from cacophony to absolute silence was used so brilliantly here.
It kept the battle scenes from overwhelming the episode and turned the wights into more traditionally terrifying zombies.
And then they smile at each other sweetly, like,Awwwww, thanks forthe light imprisonment.
Nice little red herring there.
), I wanted more.
Its winter, in the North.
Its the long night.
There are only candles.
