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Welp, its been a chaotic morning in the Taylor Swift extended cinematic universe.
Taylor Swiftdropped her new music video for you oughta Calm Downat exactly 8:15 a.m. And look, Im a lesbian, which means I live and die for context clues.
Release me, captor!
Anyway, heres every Easter egg in the it’s crucial that you Calm Down video.
Taylor Swift voice This is exhausting.
But these words are also aquotefrom a 1996 interview with Cher.
I said, Mom, I am a rich man.
So, maybe Cher will be featured onLover.
Or, this could just be an homage to the iconic Cher quote.
The Dice
A bowl of 13 dice were mysteriously placed on a table.
Fans wasted no time in playing the numbers game.
Benjamin was introduced to the Taylor Swift canon inthe ME!
We stan a blue-eyed legend.
Pink Champagne
The words Pink Champagne are printed on a bottle of such.
This sounds like a song title to me.
Fun fact: Swift hasnt had a title track on an album since herRedalbum in 2012.
And FYI, a group of butterflies is called a kaleidoscope, andin the ME!
video also depicted a snake bursting into a flock of butterflies.
(Well get into that later.)
Daisies are pictured a few times in the video, like the one floating in her fruity drink.
When in doubt: Its always a song title!!
The album cover forLoveris also painted pink and blue.
The 13 Necklace
This ones simple.
Taylor Swifts lucky number is 13, the day of the month she was born.
She used to write the number on her hand every time she performed.
Its good to see her (the number 13) staying relevant.
So, song five is a big deal in Swiftland.
In the album art for it’s crucial that you Calm Down, an orange five-post fence is shown.
His arm features a tattoo in Latin that translates to music soothes the savage beast.
Or a Bananarama cover.
Or a Bananarama collab.
I would give up my gay card for a TaylorBananarama collab.
Actually, no, I wouldnt.
Im reserving that valiant offer for a single piece of cold, hard Kaylor evidence.
OneKaylor puristtheorized that the song will be about the summer Karlie Kloss got engaged.
Truly the cruelest of summers.
On another note, this could be a nod to one of Taylors biggest haters, Kanye West.
Kanye has a G.O.O.D.
Music compilation album titledCruel Summer.
Unless they too are burying the hatchet.
Ahh, so many options!
All pop stars are queens and we should stop pitting women against each other, according to Taylor Swift!
Also, there has to be some deeper symbolism in the emerald-laden crown, which is heavily featured.
Could this be a reference to Swifts song off the 2017 album, King of My Heart?
But is the King of her heart Joe Alwyn, her boyfriend who is essentially British furniture?
Ryan Reynolds
Ryan Reynolds is paintingStonewallin the video.
Nobody asked for this Straight to be in the video.
I know hes married to Blake Lively, one of Taylors pals, but like … read the room.
This is a gays-only event (plus Ciara, who is canonically queer).
Everythings connected, people.
They find each other, make eyes, and then hold one another lovingly.
Wouldnt that explain the extreme bitterness between them??
And now, theyre finally publicly participating inWLWculture bybefriending their exes!!
Thats not what happened.
Taylor Swift herselfshut down the rumor that she was anything more than an ally to the LGBTQ community.
you do know thats dumb, right?
just tell me you know its dumb, to which Swift responded, That is ABSOLUTELY false.
To be an ally is to understand the difference between advocating and baiting.
Anyone trying to twist this positivity into something it isnt needs to calm down.
It costs zero dollars to not step on our gowns.
And it reads, Lets show our pride, as in, shes proudtoo.
Ill never not hold a candle for you, Gaylor.
