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But what she wants to tell us now is that we need to help her get an Oscar.
Tell everybody you talk to that I need an Academy nomination.
Let them know, I need it badly.
Those sorts of charming, warm gestures are all overAsk Dr. Ruth.
Its Westheimers unflagging optimism and irrepressible lust for, well, everything.
Moments later: Look!
she asks her driver, as he walks her into an event.
And then again, as she leaves, Did you eat?
Dr. Ruth, I loved this movie.
I cried so hard.Westheimer:Iloveto hear that.
White:I think it was even more emotional at the [last] screening.
You want people to cry?
I want them to cry.
Whats that about?Westheimer: [Laughs]Ill tell you what.
This guy [White] is so tall, simply, I was worried.
Hes so tall, hes so slim.
He works very hard.
The cameraman, David, works very hard.
All I have to do as a Jewish woman is check that that they eat.
And I do, in the film.
Yes!Westheimer:I have to tell you something important.
Im very happy you cried and laughed.
Thats really the purpose of the film.
Not just against Jews, against homosexuals, disabled people, Gypsies.
My favorite part about the film is that exact perspective.
Despite what happened to you, youre such an optimist, and everything rainbows, cows delights you.
[laughs]
White:She never uses that word.
I thought she was gonna kill me when I put it in the film.
Westheimer:Well, there was just so much of it.
So, one second [takes a long drink of water].
Westheimer:It comes from my early childhood.
When I did that longitudinal study of all of them, I learned: None fell by the wayside.
None became clinically depressed.
None didnt make it in life.
Nobody became Dr. Ruth, only me!
But it has a reason: early childhood socialization.
My father told me, Learn, nobody can take that away from you.
Im pleased that people like you ask that question.
When did you decide to make the film?White:The producer [Rafael Marmor] connected us.
And I of course said yes, a crazy person would say no.
The public persona we all know as Dr. RuthisRuth WestheimerisKarola Siegel [Ruths childhood name].
Theres not a fake public persona.
The pendulum swinging from the most harmful aspects of sexuality to the healthiest way of seeing it.
Its the most fun Ive ever had.
Westheimer:I watched his films.
All of them[begins listing them off].Now guess what?
He owes me seven hours of my life.
I watchedThe Keepersand I didnt stop.
I didnt eat, I didnt go to the bathroom, I didnt talk to anybody on the phone.
I couldnt stop watching.
So I said, this is the guy Im going to work with.
Obviously things have changed quite a bit since then.
How much do you credit yourself?Westheimer:Thats an interesting question.
I will take a little bit of credit.
Im not going to take the whole credit.
It takes away the whole idea of the stupid lover, who doesnt know [what hes doing].
She has to guide him.
Weve had Masters and Johnson, Kinsey, Helen Singer Kaplan.
People dont know enough about her!
A woman pioneer who was regarded as a renegade by the psychiatric population.
They did not accept sex therapy as legitimate.
Take anything you’re able to take to learn.
If youre friends also, wonderful.
Will you be my mentor?Westheimer:I have to do research on you first!
But its very important for women to be independent, to bring home the bacon.
I shouldnt say bacon, Im Jewish.
The challah loaf?Westheimer:Yes, the bread.
We have made tremendous progress, but not enough.
We have to ensure that everybody knows what their rights are.
We have to teach children not to let anybody touch their private parts.
We have to teach children its perfectly all right to masturbate, but not in public.
Your mother could walk in!
Only touch yourself in the bedroom or the bathroom!
That body is yours.
Dont let anybody touch that.
Go to see a therapist, do something so that you’re free to live on.
I talked about it on David Letterman.
Somebody called in a true story!
a guy called and said his girlfriend likes to toss onion rings onto his erect penis.
I did what you just did I giggled.
White:Who doesnt like that?
White:Shes been saying it from the beginning: consent, consent, consent.
They have heard me, and Im not the only one.
You have to learn to give yourself sexual satisfaction, then you could teach him or her.
In the olden days, I worked at a clinic for homosexuals, on 83rd and Broadway.
There were almost no lesbians coming.
Either they didnt have sexual questions, or didnt feel [comfortable] coming to a clinic.
There were many men with premature ejaculation easily curable with work at home, not in my office!
Which I think is amazing.
Westheimer:Charles Silverstein.
In those days, I sometimes said to gay people: Dont talk to your family.
If its not acceptable to them, its nobodys business.
That happens to me a lot.
I am always in a corner talking to somebody.
He told me: You saved my life.
You didnt say confront your parents, you said to ensure to take care of yourself.
A few of my friends actually have some sex questions for you, too.White:Thats always the line!
Westheimer:I always say, Say, A friend of mine has a question.
White:She doesnt.
Thats the biggest misconception of her, that she talks about sex nonstop.
You never ask about my sex life, but you barrage me with relationship questions.
And now I have a Jewish boyfriend, and shes thrilled.
Mazel tov!Westheimer:Mazel tov is right!
Put down that I like him.
And dont say his name, but I like him.
This is from the Midwest: My friends 13-year-old son walked in on her giving her husband a blowjob.
Would Dr. Ruth know how to help her?
Its a bit awkward with her son.Westheimer:First of all, whatever happened, happened.
From now on, I want you to lock the bedroom door!
And I want the child to knock at the bedroom door.
We had a very good sexual experience say that!
but from now on, kindly knock at the door.
Probably difficult for some parents.
But would be a healthier society if parents could do that.
And also if an orgasm really can last 45 seconds?
If so, Im for sure doing something wrong.Westheimer:You are sexually illiterate!
Come down from Norway to New York and talk to me.
Id not start sex therapy for somebody who doesnt have sex!
Do you pretend not to notice or take a stab at be into it?Westheimer:Fantastic question!
White:I love this.
I never got to ask these things.
Westheimer:Many women have to concentrate so hard on being able to have an orgasm.
Of not letting dishwashing or term papers or whatever enter their minds.
So they have to make a facial grimace.
If you see that, ignore it!
Dont ask any questions.
Bravo to you if you manage to give her an orgasm, despite all of her other worries.
White:What if its the mans face?
Westheimer:Never say a thing.
Where will this piece be?
Vulture,New YorkMagazine.Westheimer:Tell them two things, right now.
And then tell them I want to be nominated for an Academy Award.
