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I check our submissions in-box while vacuuming, walking my dog, and checking out at the grocery store.
I read submissions in offices and waiting rooms, in subways and airplanes.
I think about humor writing throughout the day, every day.
A small percentage of my replies are acceptances, but the overwhelming majority are not.
Even less fun is when I receive the occasional vitriolic reply from an angry writer.
I know all about rejection.
Sure, I dole it out frequently, but Ive been on the other end a lot, too.
I, too, am a veteran struggling humor writer.
It always feels like its going to be a no.
There are different kinds of humor sites that cater to different kinds of humor.
If their focus is on literary parodies, dont send a personal essay about your sordid history with dishwashers.
This one is a little delicate because I appreciate diligence, and being able to write consistently is admirable.
There are some very talented writers who churn out funny piece after funny piece.
Dont Be a Jerk
The big one.
It should go without saying, but angrily replying to a rejection will get you nowhere.
If you oughta vent, curse the editor out in your head instead.
Or trash them to your spouse or mail delivery person.
Or print out a photo of them and use it to line your pet cockatiels cage.
When they receive a rejection, they do their best to shrug it off and not take it personally.
Most humor writers are friendly, receptive, and perseverant.
If they respond to a rejection, it is typically with a Thanks for considering!
or Ill keep trying!
For the record, this is not sucking up.
Okay, maybe its alittlesucking up, but sucking up is better than just being sucky.
Odds are they will submit something else shortly thereafter.
I myself was rejected over a dozen times before getting published on the site.
Rejection comes with the territory.
Accepting it and moving on to the next piece is the way to go.
Odds are, youll eventually cool down, come to your senses, and delete it.
(I have actually done this a handful of times after receiving particularly jerky rejection replies.
Trust this editor and fellow struggling humor writer: It isnt worth it.
Otherwise, its#WelcomeToTheJerkFolderfor you.
The email screenshots included are actual replies to rejections sent by Chris Monks.
Writers names and other information have been redacted out of respect for their privacy and jerk-dom.
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