Celebrity Big Brother
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The stories are sensational.
The action is exaggerated.
The contestants are characters, either villainous or heroic according to the parameters of the role theyre assigned.
Wonderful people are often trounced ignominiously.
The only scripted drama the resulting chaos resembles isThe Wire.
Tom Green was evicted on Saturday night.
I wish it could have been otherwise.
The shrewd ally with whom hed been lately ruling, Kato Kaelin, was expunged without regret.
And so it was both inevitable and enormously disappointing to watch him be eliminated soon after.
Those prospects were unfortunately dim.
What could Green do at this stage?
Green was doomed the moment Julie Chen said the words double eviction.
Green did manage to terminate Natalie Eva Marie before his own tenure in the house was concluded.
Williams is a former NFL linebacker and Jones is an American record-holding Olympian.
The latters only excelled at memory comps.
The former hasnt won anything since day one.
Who does that favor?
Its hard to say.
And so we return to the hierarchy of the house.
This is Vultures OfficialCelebrity Big BrotherPower Ranking: five contestants who made moves good and bad.
Some are poised for domination.
Others seem condemned soon enough to the block.
All are in thrall to the household forces of turbulence and caprice that make this a white-knuckle social experiment.
Is she some kind of savant?
Which accounts for why Ricky Williams a two-time All American and winner of the Heisman Trophy!
has made it this far while consistently losing challenges he ought to handily clinch.
Dina Lohan
Dina Lohan is … still in the game.
I wouldnt discount the possibility that she could win this game on the strength of absolute inconspicuousness.
Housekeeping
How come Lindsay Lohans mom gotta catfish?
She claims they havent FaceTimed because he doesnt know how to use it.
Tamar again: My 91-year-old grandma use FaceTime.
Natalie Eva Marie is both strong and skeptical.
I dont trust Tom as far as I can throw him, she says after his surprise nominations.
And trust me, I can throw him pretty far.
We dont doubt it.
Have Head of Household powers ever been forfeited on the grounds of indecision?
Tom Green is crazy.
