Canadas Drag Race
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Call meCornaciabecause I am smiling EAR to EAR.
HangAll Stars 1in the Hague (round the back, but who cares, still the Hague).
All this in an episode about a scene thatDrag Raceoften falsely depicts as not weirdenough:pageants.
The episode begins with BOA serving the wrong kind of bod: Bitch on Departure.
what this meanpic.twitter.com/urerfEqKeT
Does it meanforbidden?
We may never know whats going on inside that strange pastel head of Miss Ilona Verley.
Which was also what I yelled at the TV every episode of season nine.
But this weeks outcome proves that an easily digestible stereotype (a.k.a.
town slut, the moody one, etc.)
is just a flimsy springboard for diving into a whole ocean of batshit.
When Jimbo said shes from the West Coast, did she mean a saloon in a haunted gold-rush town?
Is Jimbo a member ofThe Old Guard?
Ilona is the most excited because she literally has an Allie Xlyric tattoo.
She probably has a Tom Green stick and poke we dont know about.
Jeffrey is delightful, enthusiastic, and absolutely commits to his character of the corny pageant host.
Thats right, its the return of the squirrelfriend.
Does she sleep in the studio?
Nothing wrong with a nude bodycon, but these sleeves were crumply and basically bell-bottom.
Its more awkward than funny, but itsfarfrom the weirdest thing we see.
(Also, fun Canada fact:Erableis French for maple, so Ilonas name is a bilingual pun!
Priyanka outweirds her, doing an extremely angry interpretive dance that ends with her BODY-SLAMMING her pregnant stomach.
The call of the double-headed dildo bird, big-dick snake: AAAH!
As Lemon says in the confessional, I always love when a pageant girls real talent is pageants.
The homage was probably accidental, but its high praise coming from any former Canadian child.
Also, Lemon makes the most of this filler category when she trips and whines Daddyyyyy.
Its the sort of joyous mess we dont get enough of onDrag Raceanymore.
Its heated, nonsensical, low stakes, and fun.
When the other queens started chanting Keep fighting!
Keep fighting!, I joined in.
Shes always real and never nasty.
But sometimes, nasty is fun.
Sometimes, nasty is exactly what we want.
And when Rita Baga gives constructive criticism to Jimbo, nasty is exactly what we get.
Jimbo is railing against the judges for hating her look, saying, You question my taste level?
I question your knowledge of the English language.
And once Rita weighs in,Canadas Drag Raceunlocks its most powerful player yet: Attack Jimbo.
I have transcribed her monologue in full.
Feel free to use it for any upcoming Tisch or Juilliard auditions:
Okay, bitch.
Well, youre wearing some crusty-assGolden Girlsbullshit on your head, and youre coming for me?
Your lace line looks like barf.
Your hair is fried.
That wig should go directly in the garbage.
I mean, your hair looks like a grandma just dunked her head in a toilet.
I mean, your hair is disgusting.
Like the flyaways everywhere.
Im not trying to be a bitch, but that hair is thirsty.
And then Priyanka comes through with the perfect kicker, as she always does: Im dead.
A real Jan of the season (both Brady and Sport).
The way she sneaks around Ilona Verley and waves like a grandma.
The way she plays air bass, air drum, and airtriangleto the track.
Allie X continues to go above and beyond when she sees Ilona off in the werkroom.
You have to imagine she asked the producers to go out of her way and do that.
And then Lemon tap-dances to You Wear it Well as the music plays?
Its what I came to see.
Standouts
Its that BP energy.
Nobody tell Pri about BP oil.
Endless financ-i-al contribut-i-ons Lemon literally invented accents.
This is for my lesbian sister I think of you!
She was like a Glamazon Zamboni smoothing out the whole stage.
Allie X showing us whyCanadas Drag RaceistheeDrag Race
Rita had never heard of Eeyore.
Apparently, in French, Eeyore is Bourriquet.
