Below Deck
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The casting directors ofBelow Deckhave a special talent for finding truly dreadful men for this show.
Even the good ones, like Brian, become bad.
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We open with the conclusion of Kate and Simones altercation.
While Simone cries and puts drinking glasses away, Kate calls up Courtney to complain about Simone.
Courtney listens to Kate empathetically but stares at her like shes butchering a live fish.
Kate tells her she is sosauvage.
Rhylee: I dont even know what that means.
The next morning, the guests praise Kevins salted meat and stuff banana muffins in their faces.
Kate asks Simone how she slept, then sends her to toil in the laundry room.
He always knows just what to say.
The boat docks with no drama or difficulty because its parking spot in Thailand could fit theTitanic.
After the guests leave, Captain Lee sends the crew to an elephant sanctuary.
To be fair, if anyone could find a place like that, its theBelow Deckproducers.
I miss you so much!
Dont get any hookers pregnant!
Kate wants to store wine there, but Kevin says its his fridge and he likes it empty.
Kate puts her wine in the fridge anyway, then Kevin says hes going to get more beers.
Kates like, oh, where are those beers?
And Kevin says, in the front.
And Kate says, Oh, my fridge?
Then she tells a horrified Simone exactly what Tanner told her about their sexual activity.
Back in the boys van, Tanner talks about going down on Simone again.
Im fucking eating!, he says, miming eating with a spoon.
Chow town, dude!
The reaction is a cacophony of disturbing evil-man laughter.
Simone goes to bed while Tanner smokes.
He then stumbles back onto the boat and takes shots of coffee Patron by himself.
Ashton, who is Rhylees boss and should act as a unifier, agrees that Rhylee cant be trusted.
Tanner talks about specific sexual acts he performed on Simone yetRhyleecant be trusted.
And shedoes, which is so upsetting.
In the pool, Tanner and Simone make out, and Tanner says, I love your ass.
Thats why I was attracted to you.
You know those birds inPlanet Earththat display brightly colored feathers when potential mates are around?
Ashton is like that, only his version is becoming a poor mans Magic Mike.
And Tanner says, Sorry, its just amazing.
And then, I was thinking about if I should dance with her.
But maybe the saddest thing about this whole interaction is that the dancer chooses to leavehim.
The entire cast then tells him he did a stupid and horrible thing.
In a bromantic moment, Kevin and Brian wade into the surf.
Once he has a captive audience, Kevin says, Kate treats us all like bitches.
Back at the bar, Kate and Kevin have an altercation over paying tabs.
The most important part of this scene is that these people not Bravo pay their own bar tabs?!
They have dinner, and everyone agrees Tanner is a horrible person.
Brian then calls her a bitch.
They get a day off, and you come back batshit fucking nuts!
